Setting a price limit on engagement ring?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
936 posts
Busy bee

Fiance and I are both older and financially set. I didn’t give him a budget – he has his own money and it’s up to him how much he wants to spend on the ring. He does know that I am extremely picky about jewelry (and clothes) – I’ve told him I’d rather not wear something than wear something I don’t like and that I don’t ever expect him to give me jewelry because I am so picky (and I mean it – I don’t want him wasting his money). I found a picture of the ring I would like and I’ve given him a range of specs for the diamonds and said that if it was too expensive, I was ok with not having a ring. Luckily, I guess, the estimates he’s gotten on having the ring made are well within his expected budget. 

Post # 32
Member
1743 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I also laugh about the 3 times a months salary thing. Total.markwting move there, but brilliant since it’s still part of the cultural conscience. Ring budget is based on what you can afford and feel comfortable. Fi paid for it and there wasn’t a budget per se, more of an understanding that over $500 would be a lot of money. I don’t know exactly how much he spent, but I know it’s from Etsy and similar rings sell for under $300.

I strongly wanted a sapphire since colored stones are a family tradition for my family. Plus we were planning originally to wait for his tax return in February. Buying a less expensive ring meant we got engaged on Christmas Eve instead. Plus i love my ring and couldn’t imagine wearing another engagement ring. Mine is perfect for me. Fi has good taste 😉

Definitely didn’t spend 3 months salary on a ring. That would be insane for a cheapskate like me.

Post # 33
Member
621 posts
Busy bee

My partner and I never spoke about budget. I also didnt feel it was right to ask him as it seems kinda rude (just my opinion but it would make sense to have an idea I suppose).

He and I went to jewlery stores and tried on lots of rings and then I fell in love with one and he bought it. I guess I am lucky as he wasnt strapped for cash so maybe if things were different It would have been handy to know. 

Post # 35
Member
1731 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

greeneyes84 :  The 3 months’ salary line is a genius marketing stategy by De Beers Diamonds from way back when. Buy the ring you can afford. That may only be 1 week’s salary.

But, yes – we discussed budget before shopping for the ring. And I blew the budget. lol. BUT, we bought it 100% debt free and I scaled back on my wedding to accomodate. It was more important for me to have my forever ring then throw a 1-day party.

Post # 36
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

I think it’s eminently sensible to discuss a budget for one of the most important purchases in your lives together, particularly as it can help to reveal yours and your SO’s attitudes toward spending and saving.

Mr Custard and I touched base a few times on a budget and both agreed that, for us, spending more than a month of his salary on a ring isn’t financially prudent.

Post # 37
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

He told me what he wanted to spend, and that was the end of it. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable suggesting he spend more or less when it was his purchase to make. 

But for what its worth, I think the “three month’s salary” rule is an insane but obviously clever marketing ploy as some people must follow it. Although we were both students at the time when we got engaged.. not sure how a negative salary would have factored in to this rule. 

Post # 38
Member
936 posts
Busy bee

I thought De Beers said 2 months salary. I never heard 3. 

Post # 39
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2020 - Hampton, VA

greeneyes84 :  My SO makes a lot.. he will be making well over 200k this year and I went for the most cost effective setting and stone I could. 

I just don’t want that much money in my ring… I want it to be beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but not a 10 or 20 or 30k ring.  I’d rather let him invest that money into something that will create passive income for us and our family down the line. We’re young, too btw. 24 and 25. Don’t be reckless.

We have a 3.12 ct. equivalent amora gem being set in a setting from Moissanite Co. There’s no need to go into debt for a ring, especially with such a variety of options. Just find the style and size you like then figure out what stones and metals fit what you two are comfortable paying. It varies from couple to couple, but there’s no wrong answer..

Post # 40
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

We ended up shopping for my ring together so my fiance did give me an idea of what budget he felt comfortable spending. Initially he was thinking $8-10k but the stone we liked best was a bit more expensive so he did end up exceeding the budget. 

The 3 months salary thing is pretty old fashioned so that didn’t factor into the decision. My ring is worth less than 3 months salary but it is the most beautiful ring I could have asked for. 

My fiancé did take into account what his brother and friends had spent which I think a lot of guys do, and he also considered that we both have student loans.  

Post # 41
Member
3183 posts
Sugar bee

No budget discussion. I picked out the setting and the type of stone (ruby), and he picked out the ruby itself. I love my ring. It’s exactly what I wanted. He probably spent around one month’s salary at that point.  The setting was just as expensive as the stone. There were times when we were really poor that I wish I would have gone with a cheaper setting. We’re good now, so I’m glad I got what I wanted. 

Post # 42
Hostess
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Honestly Darling Husband did what he wanted, I had no input  as our engagement was a total surprise to me, even though we had discussed marriage. (he ended up getting me what I wanted, exactly) and I did get a peek at the bill, and in retrospect even though it is a ring I will wear for the rest of my life, I would’ve been mad if he’d spent anymore than he did.

Post # 43
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I laughed too as we live in SoCal and 3 months salary for my husband would be a ridiculous amount to spend on a ring. He originally thought 5k but I told him 3k. He ended up at $3,300 out the door. Looking back I should of just let him get a bigger ring lol. Eventually I would like an eternity ring once we’re financially sound.

Post # 44
Member
916 posts
Busy bee

We never had the discussion. We went ring shopping but he stepped aside with the jeweler to discuss the price. I didn’t even have a size preference I just had a style I liked. He ended up getting me a 1ct diamond and I have no idea what the specs are. 

Post # 45
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

 My fiance gave me a budget based on what he was comfortable spending. And he secretly had a little more budgeted in case I went over. Despite my excitement, I refused to go over budget. 

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