(Closed) Setting guests expectations

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What is the best way to set guests expectations
    Don't tell them its in a backyard on the invite : (4 votes)
    13 %
    Tell them its in a backyard on the invite but express that its semi-formal : (12 votes)
    38 %
    No one is going to even think twice about it being in a backyard : (11 votes)
    34 %
    Other (comment below) : (5 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2641 posts
    Sugar bee

    Well I see why you’d be concerned.  I think combining the reception so far after the wedding, with backyard, people might not think of it as that formal. 

    I don’t see how you can invite people and not tell them where the reception is going to be. 

    Also, you say that you’ll have mix and mingle style food.  Are you saying that you’ll be having heavy apps?  Light apps?  Are you going to have enough chairs for everyone to sit?  I don’t see how you can ask your guest to come in suits and cocktails dresses (w/ heels) if you aren’t going to have chairs for everyone to sit, and potentially a muggy summer night with no air conditioning.

    I think based on the level of formality in your invitations, your guests will get a good idea of how to dress.  If you indicate heavy apps over say a “BBQ party”, I think they’ll understand it’s more of a formal reception.  However, I would try to be OK with people showing up  business casual.  (Because that might be what makes them feel comfortable.)

    Post # 4
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think Tanya is right… you might have to change your expectations a little bit. That said, work to make sure that your invites reflect the level of formality… Steer clear of anything cutesy, go for classic Father of the Bride-type event. Make sure the language is sophisticated.

    Some of the most over-the-top, luxe weddings in Houston happen in backyards. It doesn’t have to be a BBQ affair, by any means! Honestly, if we could’ve fit at my parents house, I would’ve PREFERRED to have mine there. The money you save on venue can help make the other elements extraordinary.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Also… Don’t tell them it’s in the backyard. Just say ‘at the home of’ or some such. Once they arrive, they can discover that the celebration is in the back yard. I’m not sure what the etiquette says, but I get invitations for things all the time that in the bottom corner says ‘cocktail attire’ ‘party chic’ or something similar. … Might want to see what Emily Post has to say about it, but that way you can subtly steer the level of formality, too.

    Post # 7
    Member
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Rather than telling people it’s a reception in the backyard, maybe describe it as a semi-formal cocktail reception at the residence of your Future Mother-In-Law, or as a sunset garden party in celebration of your marriage.

    As others have said, make the invitations on the more formal side and if you make a wedding website you can go into more details there letting guests know what to expect.

    The topic ‘Setting guests expectations’ is closed to new replies.

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