(Closed) Settle our Wedding Babysitter Debate

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who pays for the babysitter at the venue?
    The bride and groom/hosts : (17 votes)
    22 %
    The parents of the child : (54 votes)
    71 %
    other : (5 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If you can afford it, it would be a nice gesture to pay.  However, I think getting a sitter is always the parents’ responsibility.

    Post # 5
    13248 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think how you described it, it’s her responsibility.  Had the situation been different, like you got a babysitter for a bunch of different kids (different families), then it would be your responsibility. 

    Like PPs say, it is a nice gesture for you to pay if you can afford it!

    Post # 6
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    The only way I think you should pay is if you offer a babysitting service to all of the guests. Which it doesn’t sound like you did.

    Post # 7
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It’s her decision to not want him at the wedding BUT she wants him nearby. (or whereever they’re staying) These are all HER decisions, not yours. We are having a no children wedding & reception so we are helping pay for childcare because WE made the decision for no children. It’s not your responsibility. If he wants to pay for it, it comes out of his money.

    Post # 8
    4371 posts
    Honey bee

    She wants the baby at a particular place, that is her resposnibility.

    Post # 9
    3968 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yes, since it’s just one child, she should be paying. I was once a wedding babysitter for about 8-10 children (from 3 to 12) and was paid by the bride and groom, but it was more because they wanted their entire family there, children and all, and they didn’t want the guests to worry about their kids. In this case, I would think it’s her responsibility.

    Post # 10
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Since it’s a babysitter for only her kids, she should definitely pay. Think about all the other parents who hired babysitters to watch their kids at places other than the venue. You wouldn’t pay for that would you? So why would you pay for his sister’s babysitter just because she wants her kid to be watched at the venue instead of her home?

    Post # 11
    2281 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Since children are invited to the reception, the parents should pay. I paid for our babysitter, but that’s because our wedding was child-free and so babysitting was necessary for any parents.

    Post # 12
    1696 posts
    Bumble bee

    One lady should not presume to pay off another lady’s servants. You can — and should —  “tip” another lady’s servants if they perform some personal service for you. But come between a mother and her child’s caregiver, create ambiguity about who is in charge with respect to her duties? No. Not appropriate.

    You could offer to provide the room where she will watch the child. Your offer to send up a meal for the nanny was thoughtful and appropriate. All that is left for you to do is support your sister-in-law’s choices to manage her own family life and make her own business arrangements that facilitate her choices.

    Post # 13
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I definitely think since you invited the child to attend the reception that they should be in charge of paying for the sitter.  If it that they weren’t invited, I’d say it would be nice for you to provide the sitter and pay but not necessary.  

    Post # 14
    1402 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I voted before I read, so disregard one vote for you guys.  Oops.  I definitely think they should be responsible for paying since their child was invited to the reception, but they’re the ones who want to hire a sitter.

    Post # 16
    3304 posts
    Sugar bee

    She pays!

    The topic ‘Settle our Wedding Babysitter Debate’ is closed to new replies.

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