Post # 1
So, we have invited a few kids to our wedding- out of towners only. (I wanted no kids whatsoever, but I lost this one)
My fiance’s brother and sister (traveling from out of town) have a son who will be 11 months old by the time we get married.
They don’t want to bring him to the reception, but he is having attachment anxiety- so they want him nearby. My future sister in law is getting a babysitter to watch him in a private room at our venue.
The question is- who pays for this?
This conversation has not come up between me and the sister-in-law, but my fiance thinks that WE should pay for the babysitter.
I think the parents of the child should pay, since the child is invited to the reception and they are choosing to not have him there.
Post # 3
If you can afford it, it would be a nice gesture to pay. However, I think getting a sitter is always the parents’ responsibility.
Post # 4
@SweetandSimple: I agree it would be a nice gesture. It won’t even be that much, anyway… probably $50-60. I did offer to have a meal sent up for the sitter, but apparently she doesn’t need anything.
Post # 5
I think how you described it, it’s her responsibility. Had the situation been different, like you got a babysitter for a bunch of different kids (different families), then it would be your responsibility.
Like PPs say, it is a nice gesture for you to pay if you can afford it!
Post # 6
The only way I think you should pay is if you offer a babysitting service to all of the guests. Which it doesn’t sound like you did.
Post # 7
It’s her decision to not want him at the wedding BUT she wants him nearby. (or whereever they’re staying) These are all HER decisions, not yours. We are having a no children wedding & reception so we are helping pay for childcare because WE made the decision for no children. It’s not your responsibility. If he wants to pay for it, it comes out of his money.
Post # 8
She wants the baby at a particular place, that is her resposnibility.
Post # 9
Yes, since it’s just one child, she should be paying. I was once a wedding babysitter for about 8-10 children (from 3 to 12) and was paid by the bride and groom, but it was more because they wanted their entire family there, children and all, and they didn’t want the guests to worry about their kids. In this case, I would think it’s her responsibility.
Post # 10
Since it’s a babysitter for only her kids, she should definitely pay. Think about all the other parents who hired babysitters to watch their kids at places other than the venue. You wouldn’t pay for that would you? So why would you pay for his sister’s babysitter just because she wants her kid to be watched at the venue instead of her home?
Post # 11
Since children are invited to the reception, the parents should pay. I paid for our babysitter, but that’s because our wedding was child-free and so babysitting was necessary for any parents.
Post # 12
One lady should not presume to pay off another lady’s servants. You can — and should — “tip” another lady’s servants if they perform some personal service for you. But come between a mother and her child’s caregiver, create ambiguity about who is in charge with respect to her duties? No. Not appropriate.
You could offer to provide the room where she will watch the child. Your offer to send up a meal for the nanny was thoughtful and appropriate. All that is left for you to do is support your sister-in-law’s choices to manage her own family life and make her own business arrangements that facilitate her choices.
Post # 13
I definitely think since you invited the child to attend the reception that they should be in charge of paying for the sitter. If it that they weren’t invited, I’d say it would be nice for you to provide the sitter and pay but not necessary.
Post # 14
I voted before I read, so disregard one vote for you guys. Oops. I definitely think they should be responsible for paying since their child was invited to the reception, but they’re the ones who want to hire a sitter.
Post # 15
anyone who voted “other” care to share?
and i’m glad i’m on the same page with this as most of you 🙂