(Closed) Settling for the wedding

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3697 posts
Sugar bee

People build up the wedding too much. It should be wonderful and memorable, but it’s more important to be 100% about the marriage, not (just) the wedding.

There’s nothing wrong with being really excited about wedding stuff, of course – but if you’re not, don’t worry about it. It sounds like you have your priorities straight!

Post # 4
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Katepants:  I think the only thing I love and am 100% about is my guy!

That’s all that should matter anyway! Glad to see that you’re not one of those brides who are only getting married for the wedding and not the man (or woman).

Post # 5
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Katepants:  You and I are one in the same.

My wedding is in 4 days and thanks to a few unlucky factors (most involving my seamstress and her lack of skills) I do not love my dress.  I have no idea what I’m doing with my hair but I do know I’m one lucky girl to get to marry my man.

So……even though a few months ago I felt like I was on cloud 9 and everything was “perfect” things are now settling and I realize that I’m not all that happy with my looks and my dress.  I can either be upset about it or look on the bright side.

I choose to stay positive because me focusing on how much I don’t like my dress can do NOTHING good for our wedding day.  I suggest you accept what is and stay positive.  Don’t get negative, don’t go down that road.  You will ruin your day.

Post # 7
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My wedding was nothing like how I wanted and I do have regrets from time to time but in the end all that matters is that I love my guy and happy that I got to marry him!

Post # 9
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

same boat! I “settled” on a dress, its beautiful, it was cheap and it will serve its purpose, plus it was half my budget so yay! for saving a good amount. My friends said if I wasnt head over heels for my dress not to get it….but really i just dont care. I saved $700 off my budget, Im more head over heels about the savings than I am the dress. I thought i cared and I thought i wanted that bridal moment dress shopping, just didnt happen and I dont care. The greatest bridal moment I will have is when the doors to the church open and I see my groom looking back at me πŸ™‚ and that is greater than any moment i could have with my planning.

Post # 10
5298 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think you have to love everything about your wedding. I’m not sure it’s even possible to love every single thing about it. I mean, that’s putting a lot of pressure on yourself and the wedding, in general. The most important thing is the love you feel for your honey … and that special glow of excitement that comes from knowing you are marrying someone who is the most important person in the world to you. That’s pretty amazing and special stuff! Smile


There were things I loved about my wedding. I loved our venue. I loved our cake. I loved my dress. Sooo much love for my dress.  I loved the flowers and the bridesmaid dresses. I loved all the people who were coming to celebrate with us — and I loved the fact that so many people took time out of their lives to do so!

I did NOT love my hair. Or my shoes. Or my wedding ring. Or even my make-up. I also did not love that it was unseasonably hot for October. Or that I got a surprise visit from “Mother Nature” the day of our wedding! (Gah — TMI! >.O)

But … I was overflowing with love for my Darling Husband. And still am. I guess, somehow, all those things I didn’t love kind of faded into the background for me, leaving only good memories in their place. Today, when I look back on it, I think to myself, “Yep. Everything was perfect.” (Well, not the “Mother Nature” thing … but I can laugh about it now, 15 years later.)

Good luck and the best of wishes to all of you Bees who are in the wedding planning process. You will get there! And it will be a wonderful day full of beautiful memories.

Post # 11
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Katepants:  I feel similarly, I think it’s because we are spending $$$ so I really want everything to be perfect, you know? It’s a lot of pressure. Lately I wish we would have just eloped!

Post # 12
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

A LOT of brides never get “that feeling” about their dress!

Post # 13
2662 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Katepants:  I can totally relate and remember feeling that same pressure at times during the planning. What got me through was remembering how ecstatic and thrilled I was to be marrying the love of my life and that my friends and family are not there to critique my choices. As long as the decor was pretty enough, the food tasty enough, the music fun enough, etc then the day would end up being pretty amazing anyway. You know what? It was even better than amazing πŸ™‚

Post # 14
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think the only thing I was 100 percent certain about for my wedding was my invitation suite! πŸ™‚

It’s perfectly normal for you NOT to be in love with every choice you’ve made, because we have to choose from things that already exist, OR be able to afford to have them created specifically FOR us, OR be talented enough to create them for ourselves, OR be blessed enough to KNOW someone who is talented enough to creat them for us.

It’s wonderful if brides really DO love everything about their weddings, and some really seem to feel that way. However, I think most of us loved SOME things about our weddings and just ran out of options/time/budget, etc. to be able to have EVERYTHING we loved or wanted.

I hope your day is wonderful nonetheless, and I’m glad you are 100 percent sure about your guy! πŸ™‚

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