(Closed) SEVEN YEARS AGO….

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

You know what? I’ve been reading your thread the past few days and I am just FLOORED and DISGUSTED by his behaviour. PLEASE for your sake stop justifying his reaction. It is not okay that he’s treating you this way for being assaulted. The fact that he’s blaming you and making this all about HIM sickens me.

Post # 4
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I send you my prayers for peace and strength during this difficult time. I am speechless because you are going through so much and I know it must be painful.

 

GOD BLESS AND BIG HUG

Post # 5
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

His reaction is appalling. You were assaulted.  You didn’t bring it on yourself in any way.  Should you have been flirting? No. But that does not somehow make you responsible for what a messed up man did to you. 

Post # 6
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hi,

I’ve read your last thread and just like @MissCalifornia: , I am appalled. Your husband is being overly dramatic. He now believes you got raped, but he’s still behaving this way? He needs to be a man and get over it. He was nto the one who was sexually assaulted. Sheesh. Some men make me want to puke.

Hang in there. You seem like a strong woman. Keep your head up. You’re absolutely right, God will get you through this. Big hugs.

Post # 7
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

🙁 It’s not fair for him to be punishing you like this.  You’ve already been through enough.  I say let him stomp his feet until he gets his head on straight and in the meantime take care of yourself.  Big hugs.

Post # 8
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Sunny_B:  Does your Darling Husband have anyone he can talk to about this at your church?  Ideally, are there any professional counselors on staff.  Or, at the least, I’m sure they have resources they could direct you to.  It seems like he’s channeling his anger/frustrating/rage at you and doesn’t know how to handle his emotions.  Talking to a 3rd party would likely be able to help him with his misplaced anger.  Hang in there!!  You’ve made a lot of progress in the short time you’ve been dealing with and I’m certain as long as you both continue to work on things, you will get through this.  But, I STRONGLY urge you to seek a 3rd party to help you BOTH process this all.

Post # 9
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I just can’t comprehend why he thinks you should ‘take responsibility’. I asked my Fiance what he would do in this situation, and he said ‘there would be blood, I would hunt that guy down’ he would never blame me and all he would want to do would be to protect me and support me. I am sorry your husband is not reacting in a like manner.

Hang in there you are so strong, you can get through this.

Post # 10
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m so sorry that his reaction has been so incredibly selfish and unloving. I hope that with a little bit of time he can adjust to this new information and realize what an ass he’s behaving like, and become the support that you deserve. 

Post # 11
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Eckle:  Seriously right? My husband would fly back to that country, go to the guy’s house and beat the crap out of him. No woman deserves to have her husband behave this way.

Sunny, I’m glad you are strong. I know you just wanna give your husband some time to get over this, but I hope this doesn’t perpetuate for too long. It’s not fair. I hate to suggest this, but… maybe this is God’s way of revealing to you his true colors? 🙁 I’m here for you if you need anything. Feel free to PM me. I didn’t message on your previous thread because there was so much snarkiness. But now I feel like I need to speak up. Please take care.

Post # 12
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m sorry to say this but you are really making excuses for his behavior. You are admitting being wrong of something that NO, you shouldn’t be taking responsibility for, flirting or not AND he has acted out irrationally by breaking your laptop and taking down your wedding pics (and ignoring you unless to interrogate you). He believes you but he is nullifying your marriage by acting like you aren’t even his wife.

How in the hell are you suppose to heal when he is acting like you are a disgusting criminal?

Post # 13
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I just want to chime and I say that I am praying for you. Your husband is not acting as a Godly man and husband should. He is suppose to be the head of his household, lead by example and FORGIVE.

What happened is in no way your fault and the fact that he is PUNISHING you is not only cruel but selfish and INSANE.

You are allowing your husband who vowed to honor and protect you to belittle you after you were raped is crazy.

Your need to pack your things and run… this behavior is abusive. 

Post # 14
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Be strong and know that you are beautiful inside and out. I agree with PP that your husband (and you) should seek an outside party–religious or otherwise–to work through his unacceptable behavior. Thinking of you, and wishing you healing and strength.

Post # 15
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am sorry that you were violated and that your husband is being so cruel towards you.I hope that things get better soon!

Post # 16
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@megz06:  +1

Even if you went outside butt naked that still give NO man the right to violate you like that.

Now your husband is violating you again! 

CRAZY!

 

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