(Closed) Severe "morning sickness", husband said I should abort

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
2511 posts
Sugar bee

greenidlady:  Wow did he actually mean that? That is an incredibly hurtful thing to say and I’d be bawling my eyeballs out. Is he usually supportive and was in a mood or stressed? (not an excuse) but was he always like this?

Post # 3
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

🙁 i’m sorry about your husband’s attitude! that is awful. he should definitely be more supportive of your pregnancy. does he not want kids at the moment? is this the first time he’s said hurtful things? 

Post # 4
357 posts
Helper bee


Is this a trend?  Has he been saying these kinds of things?  That is such an irrational response.  Pregnancy isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.  **hugs**

Post # 5
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you kidding me? What a disgusting thing to say! I’m so sorry!

Post # 6
61 posts
Worker bee

Wow..That’s awful, and obviously not helpful to you at all. I have ‘hyperemesis gravidarum’ and if my husband, or anyone else said thatto me I’d inflict serious bodily harm upon them. 

Sorry you’re having a hard time though, have you talked to a Dr about medications to help?

Post # 7
229 posts
Helper bee

That’s horrible 🙁 

I don’t know what to say, I’m currently pregnant with my first and was in and out of A&E with morning sickness. My SO wants more babies but is doesnt want me to go through the same again.

It does get easier I’m at week 31 and don’t suffer with sickness anymore just SPD and Plantar Ficitus. 

I hope your ok, sorry I don’t have much advice but we’re here for a supportive shoulder to lean on xx

Post # 8
9230 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

That was my question too–is he always like that?

Post # 9
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

First and foremost, whether or not you leave him, do not have another child with this man unless you do some counselling with an impartial 3rd party.  No “it won’t be as bad next time”,  No “oops I forgot to take my pill”.

Is it possible that he’s worried about finances?  Even with health insurance a trip to the ER can be costly.  Is this behavior typical for him?  Did he consciously make a decision to start a family or did he just not say no to a baby?  Either way, I think counselling is in order.  Even if you do leave him, he still has a child and you may have to trust him alone with this child during visitation.  I’d want to get to the bottom of this attitude before the child is here.

Post # 12
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

greenidlady:  I’m so sorry to hear this. I have a friend who was hospitalized due to her morning sickness, but she was told that is the sign of a HEALTHY baby and not to worry. I can’t believe your husband said that.. is it possibly that he panicked about all the morning sickness and is scared of losing you? 

If you are thinking of leaving him over one hurtful comment, I have to guess that this is not the first or the last time he has done or said something worrying. Either way, you need to become more independent from him. Make that you primary goal in the next few months – apply for student programs or jobs, etc.

Post # 14
6018 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017


greenidlady:  I would consider leaving too if my husband said that to me. Clearly he has no idea that you have no control over something like this and even if  you wanted to “handle it” you can only do so much without it becoming dangerous for you and baby. If he would be willing to so easily suggest an abortion I would be questioning everything. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this OP 🙁

Post # 15
11657 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

greenidlady:  I”m just curious – did he say in a way that was venemous and plain nasty or did it come from a place of concern for your health?

Neither makes what he said any better, but if he was genuinely concerned for your health and safety and was trying to put that first I can sort of understand where he’s coming from.

Hopefully the new meds will help and things will get better moving forward.  I can’t imagine being that sick while pregnant, it must be torture.

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