(Closed) Sex after a couple of years together?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 31
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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dalia88:  It sounds like you might be putting too much pressure on the issue for him. Ask yourself if in that moment you really wanted to have sex because of a genuine desire, or if you were mostly focused on the issue of not having done it enough times this week. It never feels good to be pressured to do something, even if it’s something you enjoy.

Post # 33
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Totally normal… just have to ride with the ebbs and flows. Unfortunately, it will NEVER be like it was in the beginning 😉 

Post # 34
5867 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

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dalia88:  Girl, I am right there with you!  We have been together 9 years now and this is exactly where we are at.  Loving, great relatinoship, but sex is reducing.  We’re at like 1x per week :/  For a while I was initiating a lot and then I eventually said f- it, if he doesn’t really want it why do I even care?  I know that sounds a bit depressing!

If I’m being honest…it bothers me…but I’m actually sort of fine with it?  I feel like I’m getting enough sex for my own drive, I just want to feel that HE wants it more often.  But the reality is that I think his sex drive has reduced.  We’re in our early 30s and as much as I want to have raging hormones for each other, it’s just not where we are at.

We have both made a committment to not turn the other person down when they initate unless there is a really good reason (you really aren’t in the mood, don’t feel well, you are rushing out the door, etc).  The thing I hate most is being turned down and let’s be honest, even if you were watching a good show once you start getting into it you never regret it!

Anyway, I just wanted to chime in to say I’m with you and I think it’s normal and not too big of a deal.

Post # 35
327 posts
Helper bee

Yet another echo of ‘sounds pretty normal to me’. I’ve been with my DH for over 12 years and married over 10. We slowed down after our first was born in ’06. Now 2 times a week is pretty darn GOOD. We’ve gone once a month a times. Things change and life gets crazy. We have and continue to be very affectionate but actually doing IT takes planning or else before we know it: the kids are in bed, we’ve just finished an episode on Netflix, and now we are both so tired we can’t see straight.

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