Post # 1
My little girl is 16m and ever since I had her I just havnt been into sex. I cant get a sex drive, and it sux! I want to enjoy my time with my fiance! We arent even married yet and its already like this. He gets annoyed by it so bad, im just never in the mood. I wish I was and I love him sooooooo very much and he is my love! We have been together for 5 years. When we first got together omg sex everyday sometimes 2 or more times! haha. Just after having my daughter it made me feel different, dont get me wrong it still feels good, I just cant get in the mood.
Is anyone else like this? any tips or advice? Im 20 and feel like my sex drive should be way up there! 🙁
Post # 3
What are you doing for birth control now? Some pills kill my sex drive.
Post # 4
Im actually on no birth control right now, we never have sex except like every once in a while and we use protection when we do it.
Post # 5
@MrsBoomBoom: Are you experiencing guilt along the lines of “I’m a mom now, what’s baby doing, Mom’s don’t have wild dirty sex”? I’m always curious about this type of thing. I think as women sometimes we don the role of mother too well and slip out of the role of lover and wife–but you’re only 20!! LOL. Perhaps drop your baby off at their grandparents, take a bubble bath with Fiance and try to play some music? Set the mood?
Post # 6
This is one of those things where, for the betterment of your relationship, you sort of just have to make yourself do it. As you said, you still like it when it happens, you just don’t have the natural drive. Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it, you know? Ruts happen when you become complacent and settle for the status quo- to increase your sex drive, you might need to make more of an effort to have sex more often, which might then in turn make you WANT to have sex more often.
Trust me, you don’t want this to turn into a huge wedge in your relationship. Not being on the same page in terms of sex is one of the biggest causes of relationships ending. There has to be that closeness there, or the relationship will suffer. Try to make an effort to have sex at least twice a week, even when you aren’t exactly in the mood. It might help you get more interested in it again.
Post # 7
Do you guys have any alone time or are you always with the baby? If not set aside some time when it’s just the two of you together. Also when you’re getting ready for bed make sure there is no tv, phones, computers – don’t let yourselves be distracted. Usually if your mind is elsewhere it’s hard to feel like you’re up for it (for most women it’s a mental thing).
Also sometimes, the more often you’re having sex, the more often you want to – I know that sounds strange but perhaps try to make an effort to do it more often and you might find that you’re more often “in the mood”.
Post # 8
@Ms. Polar Bear: Oh no its not like that at all, I just like im not in the mood lol! That sounds like a good idea… only thing is we are always the the baby and when she is sleeping im like ahh relax time! Im never like yess lets go have sex lol! It sucks also because we are living with my dad, while saving up some money for the wedding and moving so hes here at night :/
@ohheavenlyday: Thanks for that advice! I will def make sure we do it twice a week, im up for it! I will do anything to get my sex life back with my FH 🙂
@camrie: Yes, we are ALWAYS with the baby, well I am anyway. I am a stay at home mom right now and FH works and goes to college. My mom comes to the house to watch her if we want to go to a movie or dinner etc. She is staying with a friend/living at her parents house in another state while saving money up for a place(my parents got divorced). So she doesnt have a place to just take her and keep her for the night etc unless she brings her to another state haha. My dad works all night so he can never watch her.
Its like as soon as she is sleeping, I see it as relax and watch something other than barney or elmo and talk with FH or my friends. When it is right before bed, I just cant wait to get into the bed and cuddle and go to bed. FH tries to get me in the mood but im like “im tired bay” I just can help it! I will def put way more effort though. I know he gets frustrated and just wants me etc. But tonight will be sex night 😉 lol Ill surprise him!
Post # 9
This happened to me as well.. You are just more focused on other things like your daughter.. which is good!! You just have to make the time and if you arent in the mood one day try anyways.. I had to start doig this.. (my bc was making my sex drive next to nothing)But I just gave in or whatever and really enjoyed it.. Idk gotta compromise sometimes.
Post # 10
@MrsBoomBoom: Haha! Well I hope the situation improves. It’s so understandable why you’re not in the mood but at least your concern means you’re willing to do something to fix it.
Even talking to your FH can help – so he knows it’s not about him – it’s because you’re stressed or tired.
I’m 36 weeks pregnant and I told my husband “I’m still interested but I just feel so huge and uncomfortable that I may not always be making the first move.” 🙂