(Closed) Sex after baby…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

What are you doing for birth control now?  Some pills kill my sex drive.

Post # 5
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@MrsBoomBoom: Are you experiencing guilt along the lines of “I’m a mom now, what’s baby doing, Mom’s don’t have wild dirty sex”? I’m always curious about this type of thing. I think as women sometimes we don the role of mother too well and slip out of the role of lover and wife–but you’re only 20!! LOL. Perhaps drop your baby off at their grandparents, take a bubble bath with Fiance and try to play some music? Set the mood?

Post # 6
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This is one of those things where, for the betterment of your relationship, you sort of just have to make yourself do it. As you said, you still like it when it happens, you just don’t have the natural drive. Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it, you know? Ruts happen when you become complacent and settle for the status quo- to increase your sex drive, you might need to make more of an effort to have sex more often, which might then in turn make you WANT to have sex more often.

Trust me, you don’t want this to turn into a huge wedge in your relationship. Not being on the same page in terms of sex is one of the biggest causes of relationships ending. There has to be that closeness there, or the relationship will suffer. Try to make an effort to have sex at least twice a week, even when you aren’t exactly in the mood. It might help you get more interested in it again. 

Post # 7
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Do you guys have any alone time or are you always with the baby? If not set aside some time when it’s just the two of you together. Also when you’re getting ready for bed make sure there is no tv, phones, computers – don’t let yourselves be distracted. Usually if your mind is elsewhere it’s hard to feel like you’re up for it (for most women it’s a mental thing).

Also sometimes, the more often you’re having sex, the more often you want to – I know that sounds strange but perhaps try to make an effort to do it more often and you might find that you’re more often “in the mood”.

Post # 9
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

This happened to me as well.. You are just more focused on other things like your daughter.. which is good!! You just have to make the time and if you arent in the mood one day try anyways.. I had to start doig this.. (my bc was making my sex drive next to nothing)But I just gave in or whatever and really enjoyed it.. Idk gotta compromise sometimes.

Post # 10
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MrsBoomBoom: Haha! Well I hope the situation improves. It’s so understandable why you’re not in the mood but at least your concern means you’re willing to do something to fix it.

Even talking to your FH can help – so he knows it’s not about him – it’s because you’re stressed or tired.

I’m 36 weeks pregnant and I told my husband “I’m still interested but I just feel so huge and uncomfortable that I may not always be making the first move.” ๐Ÿ™‚

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