(Closed) Sex- Am I a lucky woman or should I be worried?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m not sure what you mean by “lucky”.

As for being worried about it… is it bothering you enough that it’s a problem? Are you arguing about it? If not, no reason to worry.

It is perfectly normal for a man to not have a ridiculous, insatiable sex drive. Not all men want/need sex everyday.

Post # 4
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You’re lucky. And get used to this conflict, because over time the disparity increases – a woman’s sex drive becomes stronger and a man’s often becomes weaker, or stays the same.

But men can be incredibly sensitive to the idea of being used for sex, so that’s where part of his reaction comes from. 

Don’t worry about it. It sounds like you have a great relationship. And if you get frustrated and want more, well, learn how to take care of yourself. Seriously.

Post # 5
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honestly, the projected idea that men want sex all the time is just that- a projected idea.  Every.person.is.different.  In my experience (my own personal, and also talking to female friends-) women want sex more. 

Post # 6
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m in the same boat, don’t be worried. I guess some guys aren’t sex-crazed.. and they’re also older now.. He tells me “I’m not the 25 year old you first started dating…” lol Geez old man! I wouldn’t worry about it.. or put pressure into having sex if he doesn’t want to..

Post # 7
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.

I don’t know if you’re lucky, I also would like it one or two times more a week, but I think it is normal for it to taper off a bit after a few years (and after you start). If you were not getting any or feeling unsatisfied I would say that is something to worry about. But that does not sound like the case.

Mr. Aardvark was my first and I was sure something was wrong with me when he didn’t want it all the time. I always thought all men want it all the time. I really don’t think that is true though.

Post # 9
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@cbee:  Honestly, the projected idea that men want sex all the time is just that- a projected idea.  Every.person.is.different.

This. I’d be unhappy being held to a sex frequency standard based on my sex – everyone has different preferences. Hopefully y’all can work it by compromising on frequency!

Post # 10
Member
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I also don’t know what you mean by “lucky?”  Do you mean because he told you he values and loves you more than just for sex?  Well, yes, that is how it should be, so you’re lucky in that sense.  Sex is only part of a relationship, not the entire thing.

It is normal for different people to have different sex drives.  Or, could he be under some kind of stress, like from work, for example, that’s been on his mind and could explain the change? 

Also, relationships go through changes and cycles and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything’s wrong. 

From what he said it doesn’t seem as though you have anything to be concerned about. 

Post # 11
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@FutureMShields:  Insecurities? So do you maybe feel like you are “not good enough” or something and that is why he doesn’t want sex as much as your friends’ partners do?

If so, I don’t think you need to worry about that. He probably genuinely just has a lower sex drive than you. I’m sure he still finds you very attractive. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Fi and I have the same “problem”! We actually just talked about this last night!

My sex drive is WAYYY high,  he’s happy just snuggling and bein near me.

We talked ( this is not gonna come off the way i mean it…) and we decided that we were gonna try to have sex ~2-3x a week , more if its a good week. 😉

 

Post # 14
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureMShields:  Everyone bones like crazy when they first hook up & frequency changes.  It’s totally normal!

Post # 15
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Maybe you need to spend some time apart. If you are spending ALL your time together he may feel a little stifled. Maybe he needs a boy’s weekend away with his buddies or something. Being away from you for a bit might make him realise how much he wants you.

Post # 16
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Happens to everyone.  We aren’t doing it now, since we’re getting married in a few weeks.  When we first started sleeping together, I kid you not – 12 times a week.  Twice a day and more on the weekends.  And we didn’t live together!  After 5 years… a couple times a week.  You realize it isn’t going away and you appreciate all the other things about each other, too. 

But… I could be there all the time and we just never get around to doing it.  Until we do and it’s awesome and we say “why don’t we do this more often?!”  I leave for a week for work and he practically tackles me at the door when I come home.  It is true that you get comfortable.  You do have to try in relationships.  Don’t talk about sex, just do it.  Get it bed, cuddle up to him, and don’t stop until he says no. 

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