(Closed) Sex and roommates , how did you deal with it when you had to?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
592 posts
Busy bee

I lived in an apartment with very thin walls and We both just dealt with it. I didnt think it was a very big deal. My fiancé and I have heard our neighbors have sex and kind of giggled about it, mainly because the girl sounded like she was hard core faking. I have never been one to be bothered by sex noises, I try to be discreet although I’m sure a number of roommates have heard me have sex. 

I never had to share a room in college so I didn’t have to deal with that type of situation. 

Post # 3
688 posts
Busy bee

I think two mature adults know how to handle themselves when they have a roommate, and can do this without ever having to talk about it. In college, I had a roommate and whenever my SO and I did it when she was home we just had the tv up and didn’t scream or moan. I never heard her either. If I did it may have been once and it was up for debate if it was even that. It was never an issue. Some people may think they shouldn’t have to hold back in their own home, but I think that’s just a consequence of choosing to live with someone (unless they are your SO).

On the other hand when I lived with my brother, there were a couple of times when I heard him and a girl being loud. That’s cause he and the skank- I mean girls he was bringing over were just not mature/respectful. Initially I just tried to make my presence known (stomping around the stairs and hall, closing doors loudly). Eventually I banged on his door and yelled “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” He got mad at me by text for doing that but we talked about it and he ended up apologizing. 

Post # 4
15212 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just tried to keep it down.  Not a big deal, we’re all adults.  DH and I still laugh about when we accidentally redialed his roommate when he left his phone on the bed.  We heard some weird noise on the bed (the ringing) and was like what’s that?  But it didn’t occur to us, until we heard him roommate scream from teh living room “WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!” just as we finished up.   Then found and looked at his phone and realized what happen.  To this day I’m just glad his mother wasnt the last person he had called.  Other than that, no issues with the roommate.

Post # 5
919 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
missythename:  Oh boy, me and my horror stories. I first want a disclaimer: I LOVE my roommates-they can piss me off to no end, but in the end, I love them dearly. 

I am currently finishing my Junior year of college. SO and I have been together for about, two and a half years. During this time of dating, I’ve transitioned from living in a dorm and sharing the room with another girl (an insane one, I might add) to living in an apartment with three other girls. During all of this time, SO and I made sure to always be respectful in all outlets. When we had sex freshmen year, we would only do it when we knew our roommates (who shared a room with us) where in class, with friends, out, etc, so that they didn’t need to come into the room. We never spent the night at each others place (unless we knew our roommates to be sleeping somewhere else) because we considered that highly disrespectful. 

When I moved into my apartment, I got my own room and my own bathroom, which one roommate across from me, and the other two on the opposite end. When we know no one is home (he lives in a house) we are loud. We take advantage of the fact that we’re the only ones there, because that HARDLY ever happens. However, when roommates are home (whether at his place or mine) we close and lock the door, put a blanket along the bottom (to muffle some sound) turn on the bathroom fan, and (if it isn’t late and my roommates aren’t asleep) we’ll play some music. Even with all of those added precautions, we are still as silent as we can be. My bed is notorious for making loud noices, so we will move to the floor so that my roommates don’t hear. My roommates have always raved about how considerate we are, when it comes to that stuff. 

However, one of my roommates is ridiculous. When she got in a relationship last year, her and her BF would have sex at 2 in the morning, and she’d be screaming (she’s a screamer, I guess) when my room was right next to hers. It was digusting. Finally, I sat her and her boyfriend down and basically said, ‘You have a right to have fun, you’re paying for this apartment, but so am I. For you to be as loud as you are is extremely disrespectful and digusting, and I won’t deal with it.” Her boyfriend has his own house, so why they don’t have loud sex there is beyond me. She got a little better, but she’ll still pretty bad. If she keeps it up, I’ll probably mention in again and not be as nice this time, because it’s gross. 

SO and I are very considerate of our noise level.

Post # 6
2676 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

When my husband & I first started dating (at 19 & 20) he was renting a room from a family. They were awesome people!! They would invite us for game nights, pool parties, & things like that. Well my husband had a futon bacm then & you can imagine how loud a metal frame moving back & forth is ..super embarrassing looking back hahaha. We made sure to always keep quiet, but I guess we never realized how loud his futon was until they knocked on the wall once. The floor was our new spot after that 😉

Post # 7
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Looking back I am not proud of this. I shared a cheaply build university apartment with three other girls and we each had our own rooms and you could hear everything in every room. The friend in the room next to me did not understand this. We would come home to a trail of clothes from the front door to her room. We all heard her loose her virginity, awkward. After a few times of all is leaving the apartment so they could have their “time”, we tried to have a polite conversation with her. Didn’t work. The next time we heard them we waited until they left. We took her stuffed animals and arranged them in sexual positions in our shared bathroom. Some had toilet paper blindfolds, one had cuffs on… Long before 50 Shades. The problem was solved but we definitely were not very mature with that approach. 

Post # 8
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Rocky Mountains-May 2017

We personally don’t care. I’m noisy by nature, but I rarely ever scream. That only happens when I’m more surprised than anything else. But I don’t care much if his roommate hears me. We’re adults and no one has said anything to us yet so I hope I’m not bothering anyone. Besides, I think it’s kinda hot when I know someone can hear me. :p

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