(Closed) Sex and the first 6 weeks postpartum

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

:-/. Good question, I don’t know. My husband is actually really attracted to my “pregnant-ness” and wants it all the time. So not sure how that is going to go during recovery. Posting to see what other Bees say.

Post # 4
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not in a similar situation so I can’t add to this thread with my own experiences…but if my Fiance ever expected to get anything from me and then was that disappointed about not … I’d be a little upset by that. a relationship should not be all about that and he should be able to go a little bit of time without “getting any”. Sure every once in awhile you can help him out but if you’re up all the time with baby he should understand that you can’t or that you’re too tired… if he doesn’t then he doesn’t sound too mature to me. I am also a little thrown by the idea that he wasn’t at all attracted to you when you were pregnant. Pregnant or not, you’re his wife, and I’m sure you were beautiful! I don’t get men sometimes. 

Post # 5
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I didn’t even want to have sex until about 8 weeks post partum! Your doctor wants to know hat you’ve healed properly and that your cervix has closed (although when mine asked at the appointment, she said it was okay of I’d had sex), so I guess if you really want to do it the you can but just be honest wih your doctor. I know this isn’t what you asked, but if Darling Husband was grossed out by your for 9 months and turned you down when you initiated, then I think he can handle himself for another four weeks while you heal.

Post # 6
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think we had sex until about 8 or 9 weeks post partnum. I had tearing and needed extra time to receover. We would ‘pleasure’ each other in different ways…but Darling Husband was sensitive to the fact that I was exhausted all the time and didn’t bug too much. 

Make sure you are ready before getting back into it. Don’t think, just because 6 weeks is up, I should do it. I’m sure your Darling Husband will survive a few more weeks. And lets face it, your sex life will probably never be the same again. Darling Husband and I still have a great sex life, but we can’t be as spontaneous as we use to…lol

Post # 8
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Some people do it much sooner than 6 weeks and I know people with 1 year olds who haven’t had sex since the night they conceived. It’s really all up to YOU and what YOU want. You don’t seem bothered by it, but I can feel my blood boiling for you. Sorry I think it is complete BS you are giving him ” favors” while getting nothing in return while trying to take care of a newborn and then add the fact he didn’t want to give it up while you were pregnant because of the way you looked? Not cool. He can use his hand while you- ya know let your vagina heal and adjust to a new baby.

Post # 9
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

@PandasWifey: I’m pregnant so I cant give direct advice but i’m arab and we don’t want the 6w haha. I mean all my arab friends just started whenever they wanted to. I am sure some waited longer than 6w but the genral consensus between arab women is that they do it before 6w. I am guessing they stop bleeding or they didnt get stiches or the stiches healed up? But if you want to have sex before then and are able to then why not?

If not because like you mentioned you are tired: you could continue to give Darling Husband favors…I mean if you have the energy for that even…which will be rare and few but that might make it even nicer because it’ll be “a special treat”. 

Post # 10
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If I can’t have sex/get “favors” due to just having a child and being in recovery mode, you can believe I’m not going to feel guilty for not giving my man “favors”. He can suck it up until you’re ready to play!

Post # 12
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Fiance feels the same way about pregnancy so I’m sure we’ll have the same sort of thing – and he’s not a monster :rolleyes:

 

Anyway – I have a c ouple of friends who went for it 5 & 8 days after the birth. The 5 day friend did it in the shower to make sure everything was squeaky clean and lessen the risk of infection, and just used a fair amount of healing lotion afterwards to help keep her bits…uhm, supple? and so they wouldn’t dry out from being a little stretched and interfere with the healing process. Both friends just made sure there was lots of foreplay and things happened really slowly.

 

Good Luck with your situation OP 🙂

 

 

Post # 13
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@mixtapehearts:  “Sorry I think it is complete BS you are giving him ” favors” while getting nothing in return while trying to take care of a newborn and then add the fact he didn’t want to give it up while you were pregnant because of the way you looked? Not cool. He can use his hand while you- ya know let your vagina heal and adjust to a new baby.”

I agree.  It is really unfathomable to me that a loving husband wouldn’t understand that his wife needs time to both heal down there AND adjust to a new baby.  While giving him favors is fine, he shouldn’t expect them (especially due to his lack of interest for the last 9 months).

Post # 14
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Snow00774:  It is not just your vagina, your inside are still healing- even with a c-section Having sex in the shower isn’t going to lessen the risk of infection- he is putting his penis inside an area that is healing from trauma. Not exactly something we should all be rushing out to do, no nookie is worth that. 

Post # 15
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

@Mrs.H2B:  I agree, specially when he didnt give you favors when you were pregnant… instead, he even turned you down. A relationship is give and take, he didnt give you, i dont know why he should be the only one to take, specially in this situation.

 

If my husband ever tried to pull that thing with me, lets just say it would not work. and i would lose all my respect for him.

Post # 16
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think we waited longer than 6 weeks. We just didn’t really feel like it. We were both getting to know Dirty Delete and tired from waking up to her and I also wasn’t thrilled about putting anything up there. The first few times though we did use a condom, just to lessen the mess inside me and went veeeery slow.

I have a few friends that started about 2-3 weeks after birth and that was fine for them, but it just wasn’t for us.

I agree with pp that he is being incredibly unfair putting pressure on you to have sex before you are ready. You just grew a human being inside you!! A human being that you are taking care of 24/7. That is bound to be more than a little tiring.

The topic ‘Sex and the first 6 weeks postpartum’ is closed to new replies.

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