(Closed) Sex during pregnancy?

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m going to echo the other ladies; my sex-drive has been out the window for 5 months now. My husband odesn’t really initiate cause he knows I’m really not feeling it most of the time but he doesn’t have a problem with having sex with a pregnant person (I asked him). Its just SOO UNCOMFORTABLE for me; like a desert down there :(. No amount of lube helps!!

If your friend is struggling, I think she should talk to her husband or try initiating more; I’ve never known a man to say no… There were a couple of weeks that I was feeling frisky & we got busy, if it hadn’t been for that we wouldn’t have had sex for like 3 months.

Post # 18
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was so ttied early in the first trimester I def felt like I could have him without for a while. But I feel more back to myself lately, especially now that the quezies are gone and also the painful bloating. 

my husband still wants to make love bit it’s become a bit of a nervous thing for him ever since the ultrasound, we still do it but I do feel like he sees me differently right now…I’ve actually been meaning to talk to him about it, but I’ve been trying to give him time to sort it out on his own. I still feel vert much loved and desired but I don’t really like that he seems a little nervous about making love now. 

I think your friend and her hubs need to be open and honest with each other. She shouldn’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to and he would do well to try and understand how this must make her feel. 

Post # 19
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Payless:  I have this issue. I find it really demoralizing. My sex drive has not gone down one jot but my husband really isn’t interested. We’ve only had sex twice in nine months. He says he still finds me attractive but feels weird because of the baby. The pregnancy trumps all else even though he knows logically that the baby would be fine.

 

He’s a loving and affectionate partner in all other ways so I’ve been trying to understand his feelings on the matter, the same way that I’m guessing those whose sex drives are switched (husband – lots, wife – none) would in the same scenario.

I don’t have much advice other than that she try not to take it personally if she still has the drive and to spend time taking care of her own needs…

 

Edit to say > I have definetly been rejected when initiating sex with my husband. So that may or may not work for her.

Post # 20
Member
985 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I didn’t see anything about the part as to WHY her DH won’t have sex with her?

I’m 33 weeks Saturday and though my sex drive has had some ups and downs.. the hardest part is positions. Mostly, its hard to find a good postiion because my Fiance and I have a vertical challenge lol, he’s a foot taller then me, and I am usually on top. This is very hard now because I can’t really do the work with that baby in there! So positions have been challenging and I found that in the midsts of that, I get frustrated and turned off…

But my Fiance has in no way lost his sex drive for me.. he has totally been respectful when he wanted some fun and I was totally not feeling good so he knew not to really go there. I can’t say i have self image problems about my belly either… which says a lot because I even have a catheter hanging out of my side that’s in my liver for some pre preg liver problems.

 

I guess I don’t know that I have a ton of advice but I don’t see anything about why DH won’t have sex with her?

Post # 21
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’ve struggled with this, I’m almost 18 weeks and we have had sex once since conception. My libido is through the roof, but DH is weirded out. I’ve finally broken down and told him how much the lack of sex bothers me. Fingers crossed we get it on this weekend.

Post # 22
Member
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Payless:  My DH started refusing to have sex with me around the day I found out I was pregnant, and started refusing to touch my belly (aside from to feel the baby move) after the 18 week u/s.

In the February Mamas, I think about half (11 out of 22) said thy were having this problem. It’s pretty common!

 

Post # 23
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My best advice is for her to talk to her husband about it.  She may be perceiving his reduced sex drive as him not being as attracted to her new shape, but he may just be worried about hurting the baby.  I know my DH stopped initiating when we got pregnant but that was because we had suffered a miscarriage 2 months prior and were both extremely cautious.  We talked about it and decided we would wait until after the first trimester to have sex but even when that came we don’t do it nearly as often as we used to and we are both still scared even though we know we don’t need to be.  However, he tells me all the time how beautiful I look pregnant, etc so I know it’s not because he doesn’t like the way I look.  Hopefully if they talk about it they can get past whatever the issue is and if she lets him know how his declined sex drive makes her feel he may make more of an effort to show her he stil finds her attractive as well. 

Post # 23
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My husband and I stopped having sex after my first scan which was at about 14 weeks. I don’t think it’s that unusual

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