Post # 1
WARNING: I’m a bit blunt so dont read if you get uncomfortable with sex talk.
Okay, so here’s my deal. My fiance and I have been dating for 5 years. He was my first/only. Well, we never got into to the habit of having sex frequently because we have had a long distance relationship and only see each other on the weekends.
We may have sex 2x for the weekend if you count regular and oral.
So my fiance really wants a busier sex life and does not think my “desire for sex” will change. I think that once we are in the same city we will have 24/7 access to each other, therefore providing more opportunities to have sex. More sex = increased libido…right?
I feel like I have never gotten in the rhythm of having frequent sex so that’s why I’m not that horny. I get horny during the middle of the week, but if I dont get sex when I want it, I become emotionally “over it.” I think that my birth control has negatively affected my moods as well.
Is my assumption wrong? Did anyone else have this problem and how did you solve it?
Post # 3
To be honest, “rhythm of having frequent sex” kind of sounds not so good–like it’s on a schedule or something. And there really isn’t any “normal” when it comes to sex–especially in terms of frequency. Sometimes DH and I go for a couple weeks without sex; sometimes it’s several times a night! I find that my libido is also pretty in tune with my cycle (sorry if that’s tmi) and that DH also has cycles of his own as well. Sometimes we’re in sync and sometimes we’re not and that’s just how it is .
But is this a general lack of interest in sex? That’s different and it can be connected to your birth control–when I went on depo-provera, I lost my sex drive. Completely. So if that’s you, you might want to talk to your gyno.
Post # 4
@2shy2Bbf: You have to know what is a normal sex life for you. Me and my Fiance are in a long distance realtionship we see eachother every month for about 4-7 days when we do we have sex about 3-4 a day. But that is what is normal for us especially with the distance we try to get it while we can lol.
Post # 5
My Fiance and I were in a LDR for years–once we moved to the same town and in together, things did pick up. And then slow down because of our work schedules, pick up again, etc. I think it not only has to do with you and your Fiance and what is “normal” for you, but also accessibility.
Post # 7
OP: I think your assumptions are correct. Having frequent opportunities for sex means you’re going to take advantage of them more often. Just the difference between living together vs. living across town from each other was enough to add an average of 1-2 more times per week for my husband and me. If long distance is in the mix, that means that your current level is even lower than it would be if you were together more.
And your birth control could be affecting it too. He should understand that’s not your fault.