Post # 1
So Darling Husband and I are closing on our first house any day now, and I don’t know how we were so stupid not to look this up in the first place but there is a sex offender on our street there is one house in between him and us!!!!
I’m freaking out, his registry says 3 counts use of a minor in a sexual performance. OMG I’m flipping out our first child is due in Jan. and I’m moving in next to a monster..
What would you do?
We really can’t back out now that’s just not an option…
I’m sick over it
EDIT according to his registry he spent15 years in jail so…I’m pretty sure this isn’t a “victimless” crime it also say the victim was not a relative.
Post # 3
First. Breathe! Now you know the information and you can protect your child accordingly. Honestly though, you don’t know all the details. He could have been 18 and slept with his 16 year old girlfriend. Sadly, sex offenders are everywhere. You could move to where none are registered, but that’s pretty hard to do.
Post # 4
@ames12708: Reallistically though, what can he do? You don’t need to befriend him. And when our kids were young, didn’t wander next door (or anywhere else) without our permission.
Post # 5
Sexual abuse laws are horrendously flawed. He could have been punished for something he did with a 16 year old when he was 18.
I’m not going to make excuses for the guy. He could be a monster like you claim. It’s possible, however, that it was bitter parents wanting to take it out on their daughter’s boyfriend.
You just don’t know.
But, like another poster said, what can he realistically do? As long as you don’t bring him into your life, there’s little risk. It will be many, many, many years before your child even has the potential to be walking outside by themselves — Will he still be there? You don’t know.
You’re making a mountain out of a molehill right now. This person is no threat to you or your unborn child.
Post # 6
@lovelyMsValentine: +1. I used to have a sex offender living down the block from me, and he was registered because he had consensual sex with another man in the 70s. Its quite possible that this guy is a similar deal.
Either way, you can take precautions to protect you child. There are a lot of sex offenders out there who were never caught.
Post # 7
@lovelyMsValentine: Well he’s in his 60s and commited this crime in 1996 so as much as I wish it was something like that I kind of doubt it. But I do just hope it was something like a 16 or 17 year old just because I feel like that is completely different than an actual child.
@paula1248: This is true, but I guess what really freaks me out is he has these cute little dogs in his yard….
And I will never feel like I can let my kid outside ever even to ride it’s bike to the end of the street.
That was the whole reason we picked an actual neighborhood subdivision that’s off the road so one day I feel at least comfortable saying sure you can ride your bike to the end of the street and back….but now I don’t think I could ever do that..
Post # 8
@lovelyMsValentine: @paula1248: I agree with both of these comments.
There are way more un-registered offenders out there than registered, so I’d be just thankful to know so that you can keep an eye out.
Post # 9
Omg! We just moved a month ago, and I didn’t even think to check that. I’m going to look it up now!
(Even though I don’t want kids, it’s still way too creepy.)
Post # 10
@ames12708: OMG that is terrible! I’d say build a fence around your garden so that your child can’t wander out of it as a toddler and make sure to tell them never to talk to him. I’m guessing that if he wants to stay out of jail then he will not go anywere near your children. Keep your distance from him. I’m so sorry that this is happening to you, especially since you’re pregnant :(.
Post # 11
As already stated there’s no way this was and 18yr old and his girlfriend the time line just doesn’t work so that dream is gone.
Anyway I know the sex laws are a mess my own husband almost ended up on the registry in college for well something really silly thankfully he didn’t but I do know it can happen we also have a friend who ended up on the registry for something stupid in college so yeah I know it can be messed up..
But when you pull him up no where do the words sex act or minor appear…
I think I have a right to be worried and I’m sure I’ll calm down but I just learned this an hour ago so I’m a little flustered at the moment…
Post # 12
Your child isn’t going to be out riding his or her bike anytime soon, and the guy could be long gone by then. Don’t panic. Even so, the likelihood of him harming your child is slim (most abuse isn’t done by a complete stranger). Nonetheless, if he is there, just make sure your child knows to not wander to a neighbor.
But I understand why you’re freaked out. It would certainly make me uncomfortable!
Post # 13
@UK Bride: It is better to know than not know.
Post # 14
@Carlasgettingmarried: thanks it’s nice to not feel like I’m the criminal for being concerned. I know it will probably be just fine but that doesn’t mean what was our dream home didn’t get a lot less dreamy for both of us…my dh is not happy.
Post # 15
Just use the information to avoid this person, and then common sense to keep all strangers away from your child. There could be more harm from an unregistered person, or a person travelling through the area.
In the UK you can only ask the police about a person you have concerns about if there is a specific reason (eg they babysit your kid), and even then they can ask the police who reported them. Makes me sick. Wish we had a public registry like you have!
Post # 16
In Holland there is no way you could find out..so I don’t know who lives on our block, I need to protect my daughter from everybody, just in case!
Honestly, I would totally ask him why he was convicted, why not, he must know the information is easlily found on the internet, why not just ask him? Maybe there is a explanation for it, maybe you can google him (try to figure out the name)…I would do whatever I could to find out what he did exactly!