(Closed) sex or no sex

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 92
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

IT WAS PERFECT.  I know this is hard to believe but it is TRUE.  We waited and did almost nothing except for a few minor makeout sessions, because the chemistry was hot just with kissing and we were absolutely committed (hard as it was) to NOT go there prior to the wedding our dating + courtship + engagement has been 1 yr 8 months. I just have to say, we had the best (first time) sex, the afternoon (morning wedding) of our wedding and the next morning. Seriously…not to go into detail but both of us were put together in a perfect way and time….at the same time. PS. it was his first time ever and my first time in 7 years, thanks to God’s power to keep us pure.

Post # 93
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

when we were in mexico a few weeks ago, we met a couple on their honeymoon who stopped having sex when they got engaged and successfully abstained up until their honeymoon [which i think they told us was a 9-month waiting period]. i was astounded at their will power given that they knew what they were missing! they said it wasn’t TOO difficult, so i shared a little anecdote with them…

before we went to mexico, the boy and i went on a 2 week sex-ban. we figured it would make our vacation sex that much better and more special if we held off for those weeks leading up to it. not sure why we chose to do this because it was absolutely torturous. we gave in about 5 hours before we flew out because we just couldn’t stand it anymore!

i highly doubt we will impose another sex-ban in our relationship at anytime, lol!

Post # 94
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m really glad Fiance and I didn’t wait because we had some MAJOR issues to sort out at the beginning. He had some issues – stuff in his past that was affecting his ability to perform… it was a trust thing, basically, which we are past now, but it took like five or six months to get to that point. To me, it is a testament to my love for him that I was able to deal with it and help him through it. I’ve never had to deal with that with a guy before and I ended up feeling the way I assume many men feel when they can’t satisfy their partner. I went through the “Is it me?” “Am I unattractive?” – all that stuff. And let me tell you if that is how we started our marriage, I don’t know what I would have done.

Post # 95
16 posts
  • Wedding: December 2009

We are waiting. Some what religious values, and we thought it was the best for us… we didnt have to worry about pregnancy and being on the pill etc. We have been together about 5 years.

Post # 96
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i wanted to say how cool i think it is for those who DO wait.

Darling Husband and i both had the same # of partners (weird, i know) when we met…and in all honesty yeah I wish it wasn’t as high as it had been…BUT that’s all in the past.

as far as he and I – i actually abstained from him for about 3 weeks when we first started dating…but obviously that answers your question! lol

Of course, though, we moved in together 4 months after we met…so yeah. 🙂

Post # 97
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Definitely didn’t wait…and glad we didn’t 🙂

Post # 98
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Nope, we have been having sex, I don’t see a reason to wait. I think it will still be special because we’ll be husband and wife. Plus, I love sex and I don’t want to go without it, especially with the man I love.

@ fiftyfootbride- I went through that phase too–College! LOL

Post # 99
4381 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

@MsMamaBear- Lol! I’m glad I’m not alone. :p

Post # 100
11809 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

We didn’t wait.  Neither of us ever saw any particular reason to wait until marriage to have sex.  We weren’t each others’ firsts.  No big deal for us.  I do think having sex with the person you love is special, but at the same time, it’s just sex.  Does that make sense?

Post # 101
4381 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

@mouse- Makes sense to me. I look at it the same way, methinks.

Post # 102
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Kindred Oaks, Georgetown

haha heck no. I have no self control when it comes to my mister. 🙂

Post # 103
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

We def didn’t wait… we started having sex like a week into our relationship, which is pretty good for both of us. haha.  I’m also a fan of “try it before you buy it.”  I have been totally compatible with someone and enjoyed their company, but our sex life completely sucked.  We tried working on it. I’m really open about sex so I would just tell him what I like/don’t like etc, but it just never got better.  After a few months of miserably bad sex, it just had to end because it’s like mising a whole part of the relationship.  I guess after an experience like that, I just never wanted to risk being compatible in life, but not in bed.  To each their own though!

Post # 104
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

We’ve been having sex since about two weeks after we “offically” got together. Neither of us were virgins, and see no reason to wait now. I totally admire those with enough guts to wait though I just can’t imagine having to hold back my impulses. It’s bad enough when I don’t see him for three or four months, let alone holding out for good.

@ 50 foot – I went through that phase too, so no worries. I think my number is around 8ish and his is about 24ish so don’t worry, you’re not alone!

Post # 105
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We didn’t (aren’t, I suppose, seeing as we’re not married yet). I admire people who wait until marriage, but we saw no reason to. : ) We were both virgins and “engaged” (he’d proposed the first time, but it wasn’t “official” yet, aka with a ring and public knowledge and yadda yadda). I am glad that we didn’t wait, just because we WERE both virgins and I would not have wanted my wedding night and honeymoon to be that awkward, hah! (Not that it wasn’t enjoyable or that it didn’t live up to expectations, because I wasn’t expecting perfection, but it wasn’t the most coordinated act of copulation ever.)

Post # 106
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

My fiance and I are waiting for religious reasons. Before we met we had both made the commitment to wait until marriage.  We were friends for a long time first and were each others first boyfriend/girlfriend.  We were also each others first kiss. It’s been interesting getting to know how to be in a relationship as well as how to be in a relationship with him.  I was 20 and he was 19 when we got together and we’ll be 23 and 22 on the big day. 

As for how far, lots of kissing and cuddling, but nothing below the belt. I cannot wait for the next 7 weeks to get done with! I’m not expecting our first time to be amazing, but it will be good.

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