(Closed) Sex questions for first time on wedding night.

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 31
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

There is a great youtube channel from a young sex ed teacher with lots of videos about sex, the first time, positions, lube etc.  https://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen/videos.  

I think 5 inches is pretty average.  It is not huge, for sure, but fit depends on your vagina size as well.  It might feel huge to you, which will be awesome for both of you as time goes on.  

One thing that can help alot is to use lubricant.  Your vagina should naturally lubricate itself when you are aroused, but for many people, extra lubricant really helps cut down on friction which cuts down on pain.  Also, if you are nervous and inexperienced you may not naturally lubricate on your own much the first few times, so having a lubricant like KY can help.  Also, many men like the feeling of lube on their penis, so it is extra fun!  You can buy it any any pharmacy, target, or amazon.

Lastly, I do not think you should take any mood altering medications. You want to be fully functioning, able express any concerns or feelings about what is happening, and most importantlyenjoy yourself.  Sex can feel like a drug on its own! It’s ok to be nervous. You are marrying this man and you should work through nerves about sex together. Maybe he gives you a massage or a foot rub.  Maybe you take a nice bath with some lavender essential oils. If you plan to drink at your wedding, a couple glasses of wine will loosen you up just fine!

And lastly, you DO NOT have to have sex on your wedding night.  If it is too overwhelming for you to actually enjoy it, maybe fall asleep in each others arms and try it in the morning when there is less pressure.  Just because it is your wedding night doesn’t mean you are required to be ready.

Post # 32
Member
1661 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

summerbride248 :  ahahahaha no way homie. My first ever was bigger than my Fiance. I can tell you’ve never watched porn or anything =P I’ve been with 4 others who were bigger than him. I was a very frisky teen/early college student LOL

7 inches is large but by no means the biggest on this site I can assure you. 

Post # 33
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

summerbride248 :  

Sex is enjoyable and it should be. You mentioned that you’ve done some fooling around? The biggest key I’ve found is being properly into it..meaning not distracted or worried or anything. Just remember it’s going to be fun…at least it’ll be fun on the second round ๐Ÿ™‚ one of the big keys is being all hot and heavy, so don’t try to schedule it too much. A lot of couples don’t have sex the first night.

Every couple in the beginning needs to hit their stride, so don’t worry about a lifetime of trouble. Keep communicating your needs (and make sure you both take each other’s seriously) and keep trying to make things work and it will be ok. Also, even after years…partners still need to communicate things so it’s normal.

Also, I find painful consensual sex isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s always more like being sore (think like from exercise) instead of pain (and of the pain is bad see a doc…infections like UTIs can be common) for me.

Post # 34
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I will not be a virgin on my wedding night, but I do remember losing my virginity. I was nervous, fairly young, and with a larger than average partner. And it was fine! The key is to take things slowly, make sure you are properly aroused and remember that you are in control and can stop or slow things down if you need to. Foreplay is pretty necessary and will help you to relax. 

I think you are well informed in that you know it might hurt and it’s not likely to be filled with multiple mind-blowing orgasms. He also might not last very long given it’s his first time too. Make sure you are both open with each other about what you like and how to please each other – that is the key to a satisfying sex life long term.

Post # 35
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

My best advice is to go slow and spend plenty of time doing foreplay, and use lots of lube! My Fiance was my first, but I wasn’t his. I was 17 and I was too scared to tell him I was a virgin so I tried to just go with it. We didn’t use lube and he is almost 9 inches, so my first time was VERY painful and I ended up bleeding a lot. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Lube is key!

Oh, and I also believe watching porn can help, you could even watch it with your Fiance so you can learn together ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 36
Member
5044 posts
Bee Keeper

summerbride248 :  Don’t think about expectations that will stress you out and stress is no bueno. If you are used to drinking have a glass or two of wine (no more) to loosen up but since you are both new to it it will be fine. The rest of the posters have given great advice! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 37
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee

My advice is, especially if you’re nervous, to not even think about penetration at first. I would definitely take the time to get used to being with each other and having a physical relationship beyond kissing (if you guys haven’t done anything past that point). Using hands at first and getting you ready will probably help a lot. I know if helped me when we first got married. Manual stimulation and then using a finger (or two) first may help you feel more comfortable. And yes, use lube! It is uncomfortable at first just because it’s a weird feeling you aren’t used to. I had my husband just stay still for a little bit (not a long time, just 5-10 seconds) to get used to the feeling of it before actually doing any movement. Also, I know it doesn’t happen to everyone I did bleed afterwards the first 2 or 3 times. And you have to get used to the semen comming out of you when you stand up. That’s also something I hadn’t really thought about haha

 

You’ll be fine though, really. Just have fun! 

Post # 39
Member
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

Definitely have a premarital gynecological exam with a doctor you feel comfortable with. Knowing you are normal will go a long way to relax you for the wedding night.

Ask the doctor if there are any pamphlets or material he/she recommends in your situation. You might want to take a small dose of Ativan. It doesn’t make  you high, it just evens you out and doesn’t make you sick. It also has no kickback effect and is not addictive. That can be prescribed by your doctor.

Post # 40
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

summerbride248 :  I would go with missionary, man on top.  A lot of people think of it as the most “loving” position because you are facing each other.  I think for the first time being able to talk to each other and feel that connection is best. Also, it’s not too difficult mechanically. Other positions are definitely fun too, but they are a little harder to get into if you aren’t used to them, and some, not all women, don’t feel the same emotional connection in some of the other positions.

Post # 41
Member
702 posts
Busy bee

ETA: Deleted since I tagged the wrong recipient.

Post # 42
Member
702 posts
Busy bee

summerbride248 :  No need to be rude. My response was genuine. You obviously have a lot to learn. I have never measured, but I am guessing my Darling Husband is about 4/4.5″ soft and I know they come even bigger. Good luck.

Post # 44
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We waited and it was so special ๐Ÿ™‚ We showered first and had a glass of champagne. DOn’t rush anything, don’t have expectations, JUST try to relax. It will be a tad awkward, that’s ok! It’s not that scary or something to be too worried about.

Post # 45
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

summerbride248 :  You should  not bleed unless you are on your period. MAYBE MAYBE spotting but that’s it. If you are bleeding a lot I would stop. There is nothing that is “popped” or anything that’s a myth. Your hymen (if you have one) may stretch and it could even tear slightly but it should not bleed. 

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