(Closed) Sex starting to fizzle since he popped the question-help!

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@fivemonthsnotice:  I’m sorry for you. My sexual appetite trumps my DH’s, but he’s also on anti-depressants, which might be stealing some of his libido too.

There isn’t an easy answer. If you’re open to it, perhaps go to a sex therapist to work on new and innovative ways to make things exciting? There isn’t much I can offer you in the way of making him initiate. It’s nice to feel wanted of course, but do you think  you can be ok with being the initiator most of the time?

Post # 4
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

Have you discussed going to counselling? If it may have helped lead to the demise of his first marriage I would think it would be worth it even if you are not the type of person to cheat, just to get things fully out in the open and get some professional advice

Post # 5
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

 

Maybe you should plan a weekend away. Visit your parents or some friends in another state. Give him a chance to miss you. Being around each other that much doesn’t make more sex it makes less sex. Think of it this way, if a really hot hunky guy got naked in front of you you might get really turned on. If he was naked in front of you twenty four seven during all his household chores and everything it would be WAY less sexy. 

 

Try to not come onto him or initiate sex at all and just concentrate on hugging him without it leading to sexbe see how long that takes. And I hate to say this but no sex is a bad sign that something is wrong. It might be stress from the wedding. Get to the bottom of the real issue and the sex should right itself. 

Post # 7
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

 @fivemonthsnotice:  Lol sounds like you have/;had an amazing physical relationship, I truly hope you get it back soon πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

UGHHHHHHH this is horrible…as you know I have been going through the same thing. It is not easy! I went Fri. and bought 3 know skimpy outfits and put Fiance on a show we have had We have had sex 5 times since. I’m not sure how long this will last but I guess I’m just trying to make it fresh again. I really am not much help bc I myself don’t know what to do to make it better.
Just from sitting and thinking about is…all I can seem to do! I know that Fiance is a easily board person. He Is Gemini and I think that since he has popped the big Q that he has started really thinking about it. Like wow this is really the only women I will be sleeping with for the rest of my life. Maybe this is freaking him out a lil. Unlike you Fiance mine has never been in a relationship over a few months. He has already been with me forever in his eye. I’m not sure!
But your Fiance is diff…been married and such. I’m not sure girl…I sure do hope it gets better for us. Its like I told my Fiance how do you go from every single night for over a year to two nights a week and tell me that nothings wrong…I men something is deff going through that head of yours and In my eyes it doesn’t look good.
Please keep me posted and let me know what you figure out! Good luck to you!!!!!

Post # 13
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

1) This NOT about you, your weight or anything like that.

Remember a couple of things: men + stress = no sex 95% of the time. I’ve heard there are some men who want more sex when they’re stressed but I haven’t met one yet.

How long have you been together? Contrary to the women’s magazines, once a man is out of his 20s, he can very easily settle into “comfort sex” even if you’re still ready for the wild stuff. A good website for questions answered by sex therapists is http://www.goodinbed.com.

You might let him take the lead and see how long it takes him to ask for sex again. It may very frustrating to wait it out but it will not kill you.

I came from a long, sexless marriage (sexless is defined as less than 12x year I think). Some men have a very low sex drive and start off hot & heavy in the relationship because they have someone new, but it wears off. If he had this problem in a previous relationship, it may be his pattern.

Also, you might tell him how often you need to have sex to feel good about the relationship. Set a deadline in your mind of say end of June to have him meet your needs or at least give it a good try. If he can’t or won’t, I’d seriously reconsider marriage. Write me privately if you want to know how it feels to be long-term with someone who has no interest in sex.  

Post # 16
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

At least your FH will talk to you. Except for the working together, I’m in the same boat & losing my mind.

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