(Closed) Sex with new partner: STIs & STDs

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll:
    Neither of us got tested- did not use protection : (40 votes)
    30 %
    Both of us got tested : (28 votes)
    21 %
    Only I got tested : (8 votes)
    6 %
    Only he got tested : (6 votes)
    5 %
    We chose to just use protection- no testing : (22 votes)
    17 %
    other : (12 votes)
    9 %
    We used condoms until testing : (13 votes)
    10 %
    *Note: protection= condom, not birth control : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan

    @beemyname:  I’ve always had my partners go before we loose the condom (when it goes that far). We have both gone so it wont be insulting for anyone. Although I’ve trusted most people’s word on these things (and never been dissapointed), it doesn’t hurt to make sure.

    Post # 4
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    We are neurotic people…we both got tested.

    Post # 5
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I chose “only he got tested,” but I was a virgin when we started dating. Otherwise, I would have gotten tested too.

    Post # 6
    1332 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @beemyname:  I was just lucky…VERY VERY lucky!!  For random flings, etc, I always made them wear a condom.  For those that I got serious with, so an actual bf/gf ‘long-term’ relationship, I would have the conversation of ‘how many partners?’, ‘have you been tested?’ and ‘when was the last time you were tested’? 

    I have had 4 serious partners in my lifetime, and all had been tested within a year of when we started having exclusive, condom-free sex.  That response was always good enough for me, and although I look back and cringe at how I should have protected myself more, I have not had a STD either.


    Post # 7
    421 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar

    @beemyname:  We were both virgins…so there was no need for testing and its only been us two. No one else throughout our 10 year relationship.

    Post # 8
    1372 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    The boy and I jumped into bed pretty early, so we just used condoms (still do but as backup BC now) and talked about how we had both been tested fairly recently. We’ve both been tested again since but we’ve never shown each other physical results, so there’s a lot of just taking each other at our words. Some places don’t even give paper results–you get a phone call if a result is positive but if not it’s radio silence. I’ve always gotten a piece of paper after HIV tests though.

    I did ask to see results with exBF (along with using condoms every time) though but that’s because we were in an area with high HIV rates. And it was only for HIV–I took him at his word about other STIs.

    Post # 9
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I had been tested since breaking it off with my ex (though we were both virgins) and he was a virgin.  I took him at his word that he hadn’t had any contact with anyone that could have spread anything.

    Post # 10
    661 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My husband and I have only been sexually active with each other, so I was never concerned about this. I have always wondered how people have casual hookups though and sex early on in relationships. I would be way too scared, even if I were using protection, that I was going to catch something. I think we would both need to get testing and wait several months (given that some STI’s take time to show up on tests) before being sexually active.

    Post # 11
    993 posts
    Busy bee

    @beemyname:  I know for a fact Im my SO first sexual relationship, even though he wasnt mine, there was no need to get tested because I knew I was clean. and we have mastered the pull out method, even though I am now on BC. however, if I got with a new partner, I would likely suggest we both get tested. it was a special case with my current boyfriend…

    it looks slutty for me to say no condom, no test. but I think its subjective.. this poll doesnt tell everything about the relationship dynamics, so keep that in mind

    Post # 13
    12247 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m really lucky I never got anything.

    I was NOT smart about sex with new people! I got tested every year, and I’ve only had 4 sexual partners, but I was not good about requiring a condom be used! (I was on hormonal BC)

    Post # 15
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee

    DBF and I have never had any prior sexual partners, but we will use condoms. If I got vibes that DBF was lying, though, I might recommend testing.

    Post # 16
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I was tested after my previous relationship, and I let him know that. He was in a 16 year marriage that recently ended and really isn’t the cheating type, so yeah, I trusted him. I also knew him for several years prior to getting together. Yeah, you never know 100% for sure, but I wasn’t too worried.

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