This is something that genuinely upsets me, to the point I start getting so mad I can start crying.
Most of my life (I’m sure most of you have dealt with this too) I’ve dealt with a LOT of sexism, coming from all over. My father can be sexist, as my mother was expected to do “women’s work” and keep a well paying job and he would often critisize her weight etc. He would say I would be a bad wife because I was a bit sloppy as a teen. Whatever I got over it. The real world came and I’ve had to deal with it from friends, my Fiance and others. Even when people don’t realize they are saying it, it still bugs me.
Well today a long time friend of mine had their driving test and acted as though they failed (I mentioned to him that I failed the first time and that it was no big deal) so I was trying to make him feel better and then I get the “haha of course I passed the test, do I look like a woman?” and I was SOOOO EFFING PISSED OFF (still am)
I don’t know what it is about that certain issue but I get super emotional and angry about it because compared to a lot of men in my life I’ve done significantly better (college education, making good money etc etc) but still some how I’m degraded to a lesser being – even after trying to be nice and empathetic.
My Fiance understands I’m pissed off and says I’m right to feel that way but I have a feeling he jokes around the same and has the tendancy to have some sexist views as well.
I just feel like no matter how well you do, no matter how good of a person you are as a woman it just gets looked over because you have a vagina and your supposed to do laundry and cook.
So after that novel how do you deal with sexist remarks or behaviour without becoming a raving lunatic?
I went out and got educated for a job where there is practically no direct sexism (I’m an attorney.) Depending on the obnoxiousness of the sexist I comment I will just let it go. Otherwise, I will make a smart remark back about something equally sexist towards males. Typically that gets the point across. If someone is consistently sexist (and they’re not close family that I have to put up with), I stop hanging out with them. I don’t people like that in my life. If they were to ask why I stopped hanging out I would tell them directly that it was because they were being a sexist a-hole.
@canyouhearmenow13: I have to play with the boys everyday at work and they can be weirdos. I once had a male coworker tell me I got promoted because I was pretty. WTF!? I told him I think I got promoted because my numbers were twice as good as yours. I don’t let people talk down to me because I’m a woman. I can be as successful as any man and I do it in 4 inch heels.
@beachbride1216: It drives me nuts, I’m in business and it is a healthy mix between the two genders but occasionally I’ll get a sexist person. Where I’m at now its only me and another woman the rest are men and its a pretty male centric work place. Some either think I’m attractive which is weird, and other says stupid remarks like “when are you going to start having babies?” “better get started on those babies” So it gets old but I brush it off with a mental note “this person is an idiot” but with someone you sort of care about and give a lot to, to have them say that is really annoying.
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@strawbs: lol yeah I’ve had a couple dumb questions regarding that as well. Things like that I can handle because I usually brush it off or make them the butt of my joke but just blatant nastyness makes my skin crawl….and the worst part is there are actual men who honest to god believe in that stuff.
My FH and I had a job once, and the boss was never around. It was us and the other workers (and it was more of a casual job, we’d only go in when needed and we weren’t really employed, if that makes sense, the boss just needed 2 people one day and we were there). Well, FH says one day that I couldn’t do the job, it’s too physically demanding. I told him he was wrong, I could and would do just as well as the men. I was right, I kept up with FH and walked circles around a lot of other guys. I didn’t even WANT the job, I really just wanted to prove I was as capable as him. After that he apologized and hasn’t tried to tell me since that I can’t do something.
The boss though, is an ass. He called FH one night and said he needed one person. FH said ‘ok, i’ll work’, but he got busy and I went in for him. Everything went as it normally did and we finished the job at a good time . The next week the same thing happened but this time FH says ‘i’ll be busy at my other job, but lovemelovemyhorses will work’ and the boss said something very sexist like ‘nah, she’s a girl she’d slow everyone down’. Well, the boss never knew I worked in his place the week before and had no problems with the job i’d done, so obviously he doesn’t know squat. We never worked for him again. I’ve had a lot of comments about what I ‘can’t’ do, because a) i’m a girl and b) i’m very thin so am regarded as being weak, even though that’s not true. My mum raised me to believe I can do anything a man can do. I’m very much a ‘tell me I can’t and i’ll show you I can’ type person.
My work place is very good about sexist comments, sometimes they’ll joke around with me and say things about my gender, but they ARE joking so that’s different. Nobody here thinks i’m less capable because i’m a woman.
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