(Closed) Sexless for a month! And I get the notion my bf’s mom doesn’t like me. =(

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m going to be honest here and trust me, I do want to say this lovingly. This relationship doesn’t sound very healthy to me. You’re right: sex is not everything in a relationship. For various reasons my husband and I sometime go weeks without sex due to exhaustion, work, school etc. That’s normal. It’s perfectly okay to go through periods of no sex due to the crazy things life can throw at you. BUT- could this lack of intimacy be a red flag due to other underlying issues going on? Maybe. 

It’s sad your bf’s mother isn’t too keen on you but could it be that maybe she’s simply hinting to you her son is no longer that into you? Maybe. Maybe not. I’d take that with a grain of salt since I don’t know the woman personally. I’m just saying this because I was with a guy whose mother treated me the same way when he lost interest in me and moved on to another girl. 

Masturbation doesn’t take the place of sex in a committed relationship where the two of you love each other and care for each other. I’d say something else is up, especially  since you two have been closer in the past. Talk about your feelings with your boyfriend, lay it all on the table and let him know your concerns. Here’s hoping for the best. Hopefully this is just a misunderstanding and will clear up with good communication. 

Post # 4
Member
4337 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If his mother is saying the same things to him that she’s saying to you, it could be making him conflicted – if he has a good relationship with his mom, it might be hard for him to outright ignore what she’s saying.

Maybe if you talk (non-defensively, of course) about how his mom’s comments worry you, he’ll be able to open up to you as well? (If he’s worried.)

Also, try to set up some fun or romantic dates that let you two spend some time together so he can remember all the things he loves about you. I think if the emotional intimacy is given a little boost, then physical intimacy will eventually return as well. Just don’t plan it to purposely end in sex. If he’s withdrawn during other activities, then I’d start to worry.

Post # 5
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Im sorry you are feeling this way!!!  Aside from sex, and perhaps his family, how has things changed – if anything at all?!  Is he more detached in general?? 

As far as the issues you listed:

Sex~ Are you actively iniatiting any type of intimacy?!  Or, are you just telling him, i want to do it this weekend!!  You can *try* to take control of the situation, and your needs/wants by initiating the deed.  There are times my SO is just too tired, or stressed, but once I start warming him up, he usually cannot turn it down!  If you have done this/tried doing this, and still are not getting a response, then you need to have a long talk 🙂  As another PP stated, ‘dry’ spells are very normal, provided it is bc of life, and not the relationship.

His family~ 6 years, and you are now just hearing these things?!  Or, has this always been an issue?!  When a family member(s) does not like the SO in a relationship, it can be cause for a ton of problems: pressure on one, a push to end things, etc.  If it is a cultural thing, then I can only imagine how much tougher it would be!!  However, if there was a time where you all got along, where things were good, and you felt welcome and ‘loved’, then as another PP stated, she could be doing her son’s dirty work in trying to get you to go, instead of him ending it?!  (again, just a hypothetical situation!)  If she has always been this way, then I would imagine he may be shutting down bc he is stuck between a relationship and his family.

Let us know.  Good luck!

 

Post # 7
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

He doesn’t believe Lyme disease is real?????  Since when is he a doctor?  He accused you of cheating when you stayed home from work sick?  

Honey, he sounds like a jerk who is only going to keep finding new ways to hurt you.

The topic ‘Sexless for a month! And I get the notion my bf’s mom doesn’t like me. =(’ is closed to new replies.

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