Post # 1
I’ve been with my Fiance for over a year, getting married Close to the end of this Year. We live separately with our parents. We decided to wait to live together until we get married, for financial reasons and others. So we don’t really get a lot of privacy in each other’s home. We try to, at least once a month, rent a room for a weekend to just be alone and have our much needed intimacy time. But with the wedding, moving 5 hours away right after we getting married just around the corner, we really can’t be spending so much money.
In the beginning we would have sex at least 3-5 times a week and that’s with every moment we would get when the house is empty. Lol. But now we literally have sex once a month! I talked to him about it already and he’s as frustrated as I am, but doesn’t show it as much as I do. I literally get into bad moods and get frustrated with him. I know it’s not him, it’s our situation but its really bothering me.
I’ve resulted to watching porn the last week, pleasuring myself, dreaming about it and thinking about sex! I’ve even had two dreams of having sex with my ex, which I can even feel the guilt in my dreams, like I’m cheating. My ex and I relatipnship was only based on sex. We would have sex 2-4 times a day and I was with him for 8 years. However, it was a very violent, abusive relationship. I feel horrible that I have those dreams and even worse that its about my ex.
sex to me is a very huge part of a relationship. And I’m not getting any! Lol. I know it’ll be better once we are living together, but for now it’s really bothering me. I guess I’m just venting, because I tell my Fiance everything, but I can’t tell him about my dreams. Maybe you have a suggestion? Advice? Where to have sexy time, without getting arrested? Lol
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
In the backseat of your car on a dead end road?
…That’s what I did when I was living with my parents and needed some privacy. 😉
Pay for a nice dinner for your parents to get them out of the house for a bit? I understand that you are trying to save money, so maybe find a cheaper hotel? I don’t know where you are located, but in most places I feel like you can get a “decent” room for $50 a night. It won’t be 5-star accommodations, but if you’re just there for some sexy time all you need are clean sheets and a shower, amirite? 😉
Sorry if none of this is helpful, I am just rambling/brainstorming for ya. 😀 Good luck, this sounds like a frustrating situation. But hey, the end is near!
Post # 4
@Silly_love: Phone sex might tide you over. It would take a while to get used to it and not feel silly, but you could both pleasure yourselves while talking about what you want to do to each other.
Post # 5
@Mrs. Coyote: Lol! Thank you. Our regular motel is motel 6. It’s really nice with hardwood floors, ikea style rooms. We’ve been to others, but it makes you feel so cheap and who knows what’s in those carpet floors. Lol. It’s a nice little getaway all together, so we always stay there, but it is about $80-90 a night. It’s right by Disneyland, so it’s really decent. But I’m thinking the car is going to have to do. My back windows are tinted 😉 lol
Post # 6
@MexiPino: That actually gets me more frustrated. Lol. Because I want him psychically, of course. Lol. It might hold over a few times, but then I won’t stand it.
Post # 7
@Mrs. Coyote: +1. Where these is a will, there’s a way!
Post # 8
@Silly_love: how old are you if you don’t mind me asking? Is it really out of the question if the parents are home? No judgment here, believe me! I’m 29 and married and there’s still a “no closed bedroom doors” policy at my parents house.
Maybe the car is a good option. That can be fun as long as you’re someplace that’s fairly deserted.
Post # 9
@Silly_love: honestly, Fiance and I moved in with his parents this month and we’ll probably stay here til August to save for the wedding before finding another apartment, and you can bet living with them hasn’t stopped us from having sex even if they’re home. I’m not saying we’re completely obvious about it or that we’re as uninhibited and noisy as when we were in our own place, but we both want each other and want sex enough that we’re just not willing to stop doing it. His parents seem to understand that if the door is all the way closed to our room, we probably don’t want to be interrupted. It was awkward at first, but we’re gonna be here for four months and I definitely couldn’t go a whole month without sex at a time. I say try the car, get your parents out of the house, and if all else fails and you have your own room with a door on it, invite your Fiance over for a “movie.”
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Well, it’s not a sexless relationship, you are dealing with the logistical issues of getting it on while living apart. Bear in mind, in a few more months, it will no longer be a problem. Yay! Until then some sacrifices will have to made due to time and money and unfortunately, it sounds like that means sex.
Near Disneyland you shoud be able to Priceline or Hotwire a much better deal! No it won’t be a super nice hotel but it will get the business done. Otherise, why don’t you experiment with phone sex and Skype?
Post # 11
I’m in the same situation, well was for two years and now LDR, we resorted to waiting when everyone was asleep, like watch a movie late into the night, and then sneak into the bathroom and have standing up sex lol or in the car or anywhere! It is very annoying, but we recently took a vacation where it was just us and you really appreciate having them with you, and being able yo have alone tine if you get what I mean lol
Post # 12
@Aquaria: I’m 28. I don’t care if his parents are home. It’s a two story house. We are always upstairs watching a movie with the door close. But Fiance feels uncomfortable with his parents in the house. It’s funny, he’s like a shy boy when it comes to that. Sometimes they are on the opposite of the house on the first floor and there’s 6 rooms. They won’t know anything. I might just have to push him a little harder to play hooky while his parents are home. I finally got him to be comfortable to let me give him a BJ at his house with his parents home. Lol. I know it sounds silly but he had a hard childhood with his parents. Not a comfortable one. So he feels weird around his parents When it comes to things like this. It’s weird.
Post # 13
Phone sex can definantly be a filler. Before my fiance moved here [to Indiana, from California] – we had ALOT of phone sex. We only came to see each other one a month [due to my job] so we had to take what we could get!
I also agree with PP’s – I’ve had sex all over the place… hotels, cars, on the beach, in park bathrooms at night [seriously, nobody is at the park at night!], even on the roof of my old house a few times.
There is always a way, find somewhere that works!
Post # 14
Hi @Silly_love: first & foremost as you are relatively NEW here… a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”
As others have said, having sexy time when you still live at home with your Parents can be difficult to say the least. You have to get creative for sure (I definitely found ways to have sex with my Fiance at my Parent’s home when I was young… and getting married the first time… circa 1980).
The GOOD NEWS in all of this is you are gonna have one VERY HOT Honeymooon !!
As for the dreaming about an Ex…
Been there, done that. It is just sadly a “normal” part of life. I was dreaming about my Ex in a sexy way as recent as last summer (Mr TTR and I were engaged in April 2012)… and trust me like you I was in an abusive relationship with my Ex and there was NOTHING sexy about him. Your mind is just zipping all over the place because you have “unresolved issues” going on (as in you ain’t getting any)
I get the guilt part… but ya gotta let that go. You aren’t in charge of where your brain wants to take you when you are asleep. Doesn’t mean a thing !!
(lol if it did, I’d be the Queen of England by now)
Motel 6 is certainly a good way to save some cash… many of them are quite nice & clean.
Here is another tip… from someone who LOVES to Travel and does it a lot…
You should (if you haven’t already) join the Motel 6 Loyalty Program (all the Hotels have em). In that way you can collect points towards FREE stuff and just regular PERKS of membership (like a room upgrade).
Loyalty Programs are FREE to join, takes less than 5 minutes on line to do so. And points in most programs can be used for other stuff beyond just FREE Stays (if you are thinking… “Hey we’d never stay enough to earn a FREE Night). So you might not get a Night out of it.. but you might get a GC for Dinner at a National Chain Restaurant (then send the Parents out to that… lol, voila night home alone, just about as good as a night at a hotel).
Here is the link to the Loyalty Program that Motel 6 belongs to:
Le Club Accor Hotels = http://www.accor.com/en/brands/loyalty-program.html
Hope this helps,
Post # 15
Since he doesn’t like to do it when his parents are on the other side of the house, what about if you wait till they are actually asleep?
This is so bad, but when we visit each others parents & spend the night, we often have sex. But we wait till everyone is asleep and then do it on the floor so that its quiet.
Post # 16
@This Time Round: I’m actually a regular here. I was just embarrass to post this under my current account. Lol. But yes, I’ve read about your past before and I was in the exact same situation with my ex. Thank you for the reassurance that my dreams are “normal” for what we went through. And great idea about the motel 6 program. That’s awesome! Thank you! 🙂