Sexual bedroom differences between husband and I

posted 2 months ago in Emotional
Post # 46
7354 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

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@cherrymerlot:  you sound clear that this is a no for you, OP. If your husband is equally clear that this is a yes for him, are you okay with him exploring separate from you? 

Post # 47
54 posts
Worker bee

He’s gay

Post # 49
84 posts
Worker bee

Assumptions about op’s husband being gay or bi because he has curiosities about anal play and gay porn are disappointing smh

Post # 50
1204 posts
Bumble bee

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Yes, I definitely had this with my ex-husband. He was into all kinds of things that are just not me at all and made me really uncomfortable. 

If I could go back in time now, I would just immediately cut the conversation off whenever he brought those things up. I’d tell him how uncomfortable it made me, and he’d always eventually work those things back into the conversation. 

If I could go back now, having told him how I felt, as soon as he started bringing it up, I’d have left the room/conversation/stopped mid-sex, whatever so that he KNEW I wasn’t kidding.

Post # 51
10735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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l thought it sounded familiar too. The earlier post uses ecacrtly the same language and idioms . The wedding date and username are different, but like you l hope it is not the same OP posting  4 years (!) later with the same unresolved problem . 

  • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by elderberry.
Post # 52
1382 posts
Bumble bee

It truly sounds like couples therapy may help you guys sort this out. You need to know if he is wanting something you can’t provide. 

Post # 54
931 posts
Busy bee

OP I think you need to come to terms on whether you’re okay with him satisfying his desire solo. I’m not saying while you’re in the bedroom because it’s clear you dont want to be apart of it. Hes being disrespectful and..idk. I’ve been in situations where I tried to control the signs that were clearly written on the wall (I’m not necessarily talking about bi/gay). Hes repeated time and time again, you need to listen to what he’s telling you. He sounds like a great partner otherwise so the compromise would be that he’s free to experiment alone. Ask yourself if you’re okay with that. If not, sex therapy would not be the solution.

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