(Closed) sexual mishaps

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 18
Member
9478 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@littlemisst08:  Leg cramps are the worst!

I can’t help but laugh at these.  It reminds me of the one commercial for Zoosk.

Post # 19
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@FutureMrsJohnson_:  HAhahahaha, I CANNOT stop silently laughing at my desk at this one. Why? It’s happened to us too, but the way you said it… oh man. Thanks for that!! 🙂

Post # 20
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

Fiance once got a bloody nose while going down on me and didn’t realize it right away. He looked up and there was blood smeared/dripping from his face and all over my area. I FREAKED out and once we figured out where the blood was coming from I ran to the bathroom to clean up. I was kind of traumatized by it and avoiding having him go down on me for a while because I couldn’t get the image of him looking up at me with a bloody face out of my head!

Post # 21
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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@StephieBee:  Haha glad we’re not the only ones! The few times it actually happened were when we first started sleeping together, but we still have those almost moments and go “phew, that was close!” LOL

Post # 22
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

Those damned leg cramps! I have such a hard time continuing and if the other person is full on charging at you, then you don’t feel like saying something and dampening their enthusiasm…weird moments…

Post # 23
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

Oh, why do I read these at work? My office door is open, and I’m trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

The worst I have is the leg cramps. I try not to say anything and ruin the mood, but OOWW!

Post # 24
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee

My SO has “broke his penis” or so he says twice…going at it from behind (NOT in my ass…ew) and he slips out or something and hits my pelvic bone instead. Eek! MOOD KILLER!!!

Post # 25
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When dh and I started dating, we both had pierced nipples, he had hoops and I had the bars…well needless to say, we are pretty wild in bed and we ended up getting hooked together, the bar  from one of mine hooked into the hoop of his and we didn’t know till we finished and he tried to roll off of me…hurt like hell but jsut as funny too!

Post # 26
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

omg i knee him in the nards all the freaking time. it’s always on accident, and he is always making fun of how clumsy i am. i’m almost scared that i’m ruining our chance to have babies. like omg did i just kill 5 billion sperm?

even with the constant nard kneeing, that’s not even the thing that annoys DH the most.  the thing he hates is when I cough during sex. the cough either ‘pushes’ him out (if he’s already on the ‘in’ part of thrusting) or blocks the entrance so he jams his penis in a wall (when he’s on the ‘outer’ part of thrusting).

Post # 27
Member
982 posts
Busy bee

We once spent an afternoon at the pub, I drank WAY too much. When we got home, I was straddling him on the couch, we were having a great time. Then I got the WORST reflux pain, clutched my chest and fell off the couch, then crawled down the hall, naked to the toilet and threw up for what seemed like hours. My SO was so good, he wrapped me in a towel, and sat behind me on the floor of the toilet, holding my hair back. I had alcohol poisoning. He even sat me in the shower and sat beside me to make sure I didn’t pass out/drown, then dressed me and put me to bed. I only remember bits and pieces of that day. So that’s probably been the biggest mood killer to date! It was awful! 

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