(Closed) Shady MOH… :( help!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
11226 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

+ a billion to everything that’s already been said in here.

Your bridal party =/= your slaves/employees/etc., and your friend has a serious problem (which, yes, sounds like meth), and you obviously needs help.

Post # 18
Member
2898 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If my best friend was having the problems you stated the last thing I would be thinking about is my damn wedding. Sometimes I can not believe peoples behavior when it comes to their wedding, it is so so insignificant in the whole scheme of things. You don’t sound like you care for your ‘best friend’ at all. Shame on you.

 

Post # 19
Member
6257 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Forget about the wedding and get her into rehab, now, for whatever problems she is having! She is having way bigger problems right now than your wedding, and needs your help. 

Post # 20
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@CMaebelle:  Really? 

Quit bitchin’ about your wedding and get your friend some help! 

Post # 22
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with the others in that it would be wise to have a heart-to-heart with this friend and find out what’s going on. If she won’t talk to you, maybe you could reach out to her other friends/family and see if you guys can piece together what’s going on. Maybe even coordinate an intervention if it’s possible.

Personally though, I believe that if you’re friend isn’t on the right path again in time of your wedding, you should be prepared to not have her there at all.

Good luck. It must be really hard to see someone you love struggling.

Post # 23
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@CMaebelle:  I would have a talk with your friend because if she has changed that much and her physical appearance is suffering, there probably is an underlying issue as to why. I wouldn’t assume drugs right off the bat, but I would definitely have a serious talk with her and check up on her too. If she really is your close friend, I agree with PP that you should make sure she is okay and help her get help if that is what she needs. And if she won’t open up to you, I would also agree with PP that try and talk to her family like her siblings, etc., or other friends. I would agree with other people that your first concern should have been the health and welfare of your best friend before considering the fact that she hasn’t helped you with your wedding. First and foremost, check up on your friend, try to find out what is going on with her, see if there is anything you can do to get her help whether it is an intervention, or to a counselor or what have you. I would also agree with PP that people who have major issues like that often don’t respond well to people wanting to help them out, the best thing yu can do is try and talk to her and see what is going on (assuming she will even open up to you about it). If she isn’t receptive to it then all you can really do is tell her that you care about her and that you will be there for her. I also think that if the issue is drug-related, that the only person who can quit drugs is the addict and that they have to be willing to want to try and quit. It would be extremely difficult to be in a position like you are in because you care about you friend but you also have other things going on too. I don’t think your post was necessarily selfish, I think you were venting but I hope that you will take the time out of your wedding planning to talk to your friend, see what is going on, and see what you or other people who care about her and are concerned can do to perhaps nudge her on a better path (counseling, addiction recovery, etc.). 

Post # 24
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with the pp’s as well, at this point your friend’s health should be the main worry not what you were hoping she’d do for the wedding.

 

Wedding planning can sometimes blind us to the things that are really important, a wedding is one day, but friendships and relationships with loved ones is much much more.

This may end up with her out of your life if she isn’t ready or willing to get the help she needs, but at the very least you should try to be the concerned best friend first and put the bridal you on the backburner for a bit.

Post # 27
Member
6257 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

View original reply
@CMaebelle:  It’s good that you do realize that, and I appreciate that what you’re going through right now is tough. Do you think it would be better for her if she were to be in the wedding, or would it be better for her to be excused from her position so that she can get some help? Will none of it make a difference?

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