Shamed by doctor

posted 1 year ago in Wellness
  • poll: Would you go back?
    No way : (78 votes)
    87 %
    Yes ,her expertise as a doc is more important than bedside manner : (12 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 16
    9608 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Nope. Someone tells you not to put anything in them without telling them first and you do it, you’re lucky if they don’t press charges.

    Someone tells you to remove your finger from them and you refuse, you’re lucky if they don’t press charges.

    Not returning is the least you can do for yourself.

    Post # 17
    425 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Look for a urogynecologist instead. Do not go back to this woman. She is a vile, despicable woman, and a bad doctor.

    If you went to a doctor with a broken leg and the doctor told you (without making any effort to look into your broken leg) she didn’t believe you and to quit being a coward and made you stand on your leg, would you go back to that doctor? No! It’d be a malpractice suit.

    This makes me so incredibly angry, I could literally scream right now. I had a similar experience, and I didn’t report it, and I regret that. I wasted years continuing to go to that doctor when I could have been getting a diagnosis and a cure from any competent doctor. I hate to see you go through the same thing – you should absolutely find a new doctor.

    I’m sorry that this happened to you.

    Post # 18
    1639 posts
    Bumble bee

    What she did was extremely fucked up. 

    That said, I don’t know what your condition is and how good your next best options are.  I would put up with probaby a fair amount of bullshit for optimal care if I had a serious life-threatening condition.  But that’s just me. 

    Post # 19
    749 posts
    Busy bee

    Unacceptable. Never in a million years would I go back to her. 

    Post # 20
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Eff this shit. No one puts anything in me without my consent, ever.

    I would lay a complaint against this doctor. This behaviour goes beyond poor bedside manner.

    Post # 21
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    If I’m reading this right … The horrible thing happened, you had it out with her, then continued to see her for another 5 years? Why are you *now* thinking about leaving but didn’t leave at the time?

    Post # 23
    1017 posts
    Bumble bee

    Deal breaker.  I do pelvic exams on female patients every day, some who have had many exams before, and some for whom it’s their first exam.  Regardless of which category they fall into, I always talk them through exactly what I’m doing, and let them know that if anything gets uncomfortable they just need to say stop and I’ll stop immediately.  It’s not hard to treat your patients with respect.  I would definitely find a new doctor.

    Post # 24
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    lauralaura123 :  fair enough, has it occurred since or are you generally happy with her? I mean, if she hadn’t done that (which she totally shouldn’t have) would you be contemplating leaving anyway? 

    Sorry, I’m just one of those  that likes to fully understand before I give advice.

    Post # 25
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

     I would change my vote to go back instead of no way after the posts clarifying that this was 5 years ago. If things have gone fine since, I don’t see why you should see someone else unless you’re still uncomfortable with her.  

    Post # 26
    60 posts
    Worker bee

    There are too many wonderful doctors out there, to put up with this one. Good bedside manner is not rocket science. If it isn’t a skill which a doctor possesses; perhaps it is time to move to research or areas of practice with less patient interaction. Part of being a good physician is active listening. I would argue that it is impossible to be a good GYN without a good listening ear, and a respect for ongoing consent.

    Lets be real here. This physician inserted something into your vagina without your consent. That is rape. Having a medical license does not change that. There is entirely too much violence against women in the GYN field and it needs to stop. The first step is finding a doctor who respects you. Ask any family or friends who you know have had GYN issues if they have a doctor they love. 

    Post # 27
    3406 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    lauralaura123 :  Don’t go back, and leave a review about her bedside manner. Write that she called you a coward and touched you when you explicitly asked her not to insert anything yet.

    Post # 28
    2635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    lauralaura123 :  that’s offensive, I would make a formal complaint and be sure to use the words “triggered” and “traumatized”, doctors like that are why some women won’t go for those exams

    Post # 29
    2327 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

    what she did is actually assault. 

    don’t go back. 

    no question.

    Post # 30
    1450 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I am a doctor and I do pelvic exams on a regular basis, and I would NEVER treat a patient like that!  You do not need to put up with it. I recommend finding a different doctor.

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