Shamed by doctor

posted 1 year ago in Wellness
  • poll: Would you go back?
    No way : (78 votes)
    87 %
    Yes ,her expertise as a doc is more important than bedside manner : (12 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 31
    4673 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    You’ve been seeing her for 5 years, and the second visit she pulled that crap, but since then you’ve seen her for another 4+ years. I don’t understand why you’ve kept seeing her and only now what happened is bothering you. I’ve changed doctors in the past a few times because of their bedside manner but wouldn’t wait 5 years to do so.

    Post # 32
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

    lauralaura123 :  omg unbelievable! I too have trouble inserting tampons because I tense up lol, your doctor was not very sensitive to your situation. 

    Post # 33
    1801 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Penetration without consent is rape! 

    Post # 34
    3839 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Who the hell voted to go back to this doctor?? You specifically said she didn’t have consent to go inside yet she did. That’s straight up sexual assault. And to call you a coward is horrendous. You went to her for help, not to be belittled. Even if the root of the problem is fear, how is shaming you about it supposed to help?? I’m flabbergasted. 

    Post # 35
    376 posts
    Helper bee

    OH HELL NO. That is literally sexual assault! Think about it, had this been a MALE gynocolgist would you have felt comfortable going back? It doesn’t matter that is was 5 years ago, clearly it’s still bothering you so I’d seriously make a report to the board!

    Post # 36
    839 posts
    Busy bee

    Was this a board certified MD or s PA-C/NP? I would go elsewhere and get a proper doctor. 

    Post # 37
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    lauralaura123 :  As someone who works in health, I am disgusted that she would do that to you. As standard you need to inform a client of the procedure taking place, explain  the steps and what it will feel like and receive their consent before proceeding with said procedure. Anything else goes against standard practice and not only cause unnecessary distress to the client but can open the healthcare professional up to a case of malpractice. Information and consent is very important.

    I’d go somewhere else, not only did she not explain a procedure but she also diminished your health issue and patient blamed you. Vaginismus is a very real thing for a lot of women. It’s a mental/physical issue and inserting fingers/medical instruments without consent and preparation can exacerbate and cause trauma around an already delicate issue and to call someone a coward on top of that is not OK.

    Honestly, you should write her a letter telling us what you told us here and explain how wrong that was and how it made you feel. I’d also post your story on a website like rate my doctor to make others aware of her terrible conduct. I’m sorry that happened to you. 

    Also totally side eyeing the quack quack with the insertion of a speculum. Good on the bee that picked up the Doctor on this and left the exam…

    Post # 38
    9101 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    No one is going to tell you to go to a doctor that makes you uncomfortable.

    I just don’t get why this is suddenly a problem after five years?

    Find a new doctor and move on.

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