(Closed) Share the reactions of your ex's when you got engaged

posted 4 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: Were you contacted by and ex once you got engaged?
    Yes, just to say congrats : (6 votes)
    13 %
    No : (39 votes)
    81 %
    Yes, and they got emotional or wanted to discuss the past and it was inappropriate : (3 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    5556 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2017

    You are definitely relishing in their hurt over you getting engaged, very excited to see how his ex wife reacts, are you hoping she’s hurt too?

    it seems like you’ve kept tabs on him all these years so it makes sense he would reach out when you got engaged, it sounds like you never cut ties with him and kept him as a friend

    My exes were out of the picture but I did date someone for a month and we stayed friends on social media until he got engaged and then married, I realized that he deleted me after he got engaged but I wasn’t attached to him so I didn’t care

    Post # 3
    Member
    1901 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    If you’re truly over your ex then they shouldn’t be on your radar to the extent you receive satisfaction from their emotional response one way or the other over your engagement. 

    I think maybe an ex liked my fb announcement of my engagement but otherwise no reaction or interaction. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5556 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2017

    bibliophilacticbee :  the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, perfect saying for this situation

    Post # 5
    Member
    981 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    Sansa85 :  Yes 100%.

    Dont know, dont care. And my ex and I co-parent so I deal with him routinely. He knows our daughter is loved and well care for by me and my hubby so what do i care what he thinks about our relationship?

    Post # 6
    Member
    1901 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    Sansa85 :  exactly where I was going with my comment. If you’re truly happy in your current relationship then why would you care about your ex and what they think of it?

    Post # 7
    Member
    9926 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    I don’t know how they reacted because we generally don’t give a shit about each other or keep up with one another’s lives. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    5696 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I think most people don’t really have a situation like this or experience their ex reacting to their engagement.  Usually if you are at the stage of marriage with your current partner you have stopped maintaining contact with an ex. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3783 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    Sorry OP, you claimed that “being so over that past relationship it really isn’t as satisfying as i thought it would be”… being over your ex and happy in your new relationship is what should be satisfying, not the fact that your ex still hasn’t worked through their crap enough to have moved on… If any of my ex’s reached out like that because of my engagement, I would feel bad for them for being stuck in that same crappy cycle; not happy they realized they missed out on something with me. I get the satisfaction you can get when someone realizes they screwed up, trust me, I do. But to still be trying to revel in that feeling now seeral years later (and seeming disappointed that its not as satisfying as you hoped it would be)… maybe you haven’t moved on as much as you think you did. 

    To answer your question, no. None of my ex’s reached out when I announced my engagement. I dont keep in touch with any of them and I have no idea if they keep tabs on or even care about my relationship status. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1112 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    ladyjane123 :  this is a very long post about an ex, his feelings about you getting married, and you seem to get some satisfaction from his attention. 

    Are you sure you are really to get married?

    I am DYIIING to know what my fiance’s ex-wife thinks about him getting remarried “

    I don’t think most people care about what their fiance’s ex wife think? Why do you care?

    Are you the type who thinks getting married=winning?

    Post # 11
    Member
    2895 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    I didn’t get through the whole post but why do you even care about their reaction? Based on a lot of your posts you seem to think that that everyone cares way more about your engagement than they do, ie making a lot of comments about how jealous people get about other people’s engagements, etc.

    i don’t talk to the guy I dated before I met my husband, but guys that I had flings with who I still see around were nothing but happy for me when I ran into them. 

    ladyjane123 :  

    Post # 12
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee

    All but one of my exes… are terrible terrible TERRIBLE ppl. Takling to them would give me PTSD.

    At the end of the day I don’t care what any of them think. But I am so blessed it ended and someone else has to deal with their crap and not me. And if they are single then they should stay that way till they change… which they probably wont!

    I don’t keep in contact with exes, but I have one on social media. He likes my stuff (engagement and marriage)… but he is happily married himself. Our breakup was after 2.5 years and highschool sweethearts. But it wasn’t some dramatic ending or hard feelings. We have grown up and both been successful ppl in wonderful marriages. What healthy ppl should hope for each other and thats all.

     

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2018

    My XH (father of my daughter) texted “congrats!” When i texted him that i got engaged.  

     

    My ex boyfriend,  who I’m still good friends with,  texted “yay! I’m so happy for you! I wish you all the happiness in the world”

     

    Another ex, who saw on Facebook and who i know was initially bitter that i moved on,  was still classy enough to text “congratulations!”

    I guess i didn’t win because none of them let me see their anguish though?

    😀

    Post # 14
    Member
    448 posts
    Helper bee

    If you still care about what anyone’s ex feels about your marriage, you’re probably not ready to commit to a marriage. Whether this is simply age-related immaturity (that bit about DYYYYIINGGGGGGG makes you sound like a teenager) or some form of unresolved issues with your ex…you don’t sound ready.

    As for my exs. I have zero contact with any of them (my choice). My SO’s exs are mostly chuffed with our relationship, and they’ll probably get a wedding invite.

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