Post # 16
toffeeskies : I’d just do separate beds until your wedding night and then move into the guest room with the bigger bed. Sometimes with conservative or religious parents it’s easier not to make a fuss over something that is inconsequential. You don’t need tenseness and weirdness leading up to the day.
If they still try and set up separate rooms for you after marriage then I’d say something or start doing the same for them when they visit you! 😜
Congrats on your upcoming nuptials!
Post # 17
How long are you planning on living with your separate parents after you are married? You will be married in a few days but it doesn’t sound like you have any immediate plans to move out.
If you’re old enough to get married then you are old enough to ask your parents directly where your husband will be staying when he will be visiting. It is their house though and if they prefer separate rooms then you can choose to stay elsewhere.
Post # 18
Presumably, the reason they want you to sleep separately at this moment is because you’re not yet married. Once you *get* married, it should become a non issue, correct? I’m not understanding why any conversation needs to be had (or why you’re going home to your parents’ house after your wedding, but I suppose that’s a separate question). What am I missing here?
Post # 19
Their house, their rules.
If you are old enough to marry, you are old enough to be living on your own. That is what adults do when they no longer wish to live by other people’s rules and do what they want.
Post # 20
toffeeskies : the same exact thing happened to me. My parents are old fashioned so even though we lived together and had been engaged for a year…. My now husband was put in the guest room. I wasn’t annoyed by it because I knew them and anyways it’s just a few night out of your whole life.
Post # 21
Honestly, I wouldn’t get into it. Youre getting married in a few days, congratulations! He will stay in his separate room until the wedding day and after that I don’t think you even need to bring it up, he should just go into your room from then on.
Post # 22
My husband and I slept separately at my parents’ house prior to marriage as that aligns with their religious beliefs as a matter of respect. We’re older (30s-40s) and it wasn’t weird at all.
You’re planning on spending your wedding night and an indefinite period of time after that living at your parents? That will be awkward regardless of sleeping arrangements because of the lack of privacy.
Post # 23
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
In my opinion if you are staying at your parents home you need to obey their rules
Post # 24
I would just move to the bigger bed in the guest room after the wedding. If your parents bring it up you can have a discussion.
Post # 25
Hi everyone, thank you for the advice.
I am living here temporarily as we are moving abroad together but in the process of sorting visas. We’ve decided to just wait until we are married to share the guest room as one of my parents expressed discomfort since we are still unmarried.
Thank you !
Post # 26
My assumption is that they expect him to sleep in a separate room until you are actually married. For many conservative parents, it’s not the logic of “we will be getting married” that makes it ok to share a room, it’s the act of actually being married. However, if you’re old enough to get married, you are also old enough to have a mature, respectful conversation with your parents about their expectations- and to understand that their rules are law under their roof. If for some reason they do expect you to sleep in separate rooms after the wedding, you’re also old enough to find alternate housing.
Post # 27
I’d say just wait until you’re married to be in the same room. It’s something you can look forward to 🙂