Post # 1
This is a spin-off from another post I made about taking a break from social media. I’m still off of social media and contemplating if I’ll ever return.
As someone who is child-free at the moment with plans to TTC in the near future, I don’t know how I feel about documenting a child’s life on social media. I haven’t been able to wrap my head around whether or not it is an invasion of privacy (as an infant can’t consent to having their picture posted) or if it is just a nice way to share photos with loved ones who are in different cities or countries. If I make a human, does that mean that it is my property to show-off to the public, as innocent as my intentions may be?
Our generation never had social media, growing up. Our baby pictures are tucked neatly in paper albums on a book shelf somewhere and we get to select which photos we share with the world. Is it wrong to take our child’s social media presence into our own hands? If you don’t think so, what would you do if your child someday asks you to delete them all?
Post # 2
I think it’s okay to occassionally show appropriate photos. A lot of people go overboard. A lot of people go inappropriate. Parents should be much more careful. I’m extraordinaly glad I was not born when social media was around. I would be mortified if my embarassing/gross/inappropriate moments were blasted all over the internet.
Post # 3
Yeah, I’m trying to imagine if a bunch of my baby/childhood photos were plastered on the internet somewhere. How would I feel about the idea that someone who wants to “stalk” me online could access these photos? Honestly, that thought skeeves me out. Even if the “stalker” is just a potential employer or a boy who has an innocent crush on me or something. I feel like my baby/childhood photos are private and intimate in a way – something special that only my immediate family has access to. I like it that way.
To be clear, I don’t think parents who share their kids’ photos constantly necessarily have bad intentions. I just wonder if they’re caught up in the moment and haven’t really thought through the long-term implications? It really is a different world our kids are growing up in than the one we grew up in…like I’m so effing thankful Facebook was not invented until I was already in college.
Post # 4
I don’t think sharing photos on SM is a bad thing but I agree that sometimes people overshare embarrassing photos/stories about their kids that make me very grateful it was not a thing my parents did when I was little. I only have facebook and keep it to friends and family I know and like so I will probably share things occasionally when I have kids.
Post # 5
I think it’s fine as long as they aren’t embarrassing photos. One of them having fun in a park or dressed up in a nice, not over the top, outfit is lovely. Its also an easy way to share with family and friends who don’t live near.
I feel if you are saying you don’t want to share pictures of them online because they cant consent and its a violation of their privacy etc, then maybe you should think about whether you should be sending those pictures via private message or post or showing off an album when someone comes to visit or having the pictures in frames. Because at the end of the day you didnt get consent for that either and it could still be seen as an invasion as their privacy.
Yes that may sound extreme but it could still be seen like that.
But yes if when my son is older there was a picture he wanted me to remove or untag him from (if fb is even around) I will. But I dont know many people that hate their baby photos that much that they want them deleted or destroyed
Fww I’ve posted photos of when I was a baby, even doing comparisons to me at my sons age. So maybe how you feel about your baby photos will probably influence how you feel about your child’s and their feelings will probably (hopefully) reflect yours
Post # 6
I am not a fan of putting my future kids photos all over social media. My friend has a little 8 month old and she hasnt featured on social media once.
Post # 7
emmabird : I share a limited number of flattering photos on social media so that far away family and friends can see my daughter. I draw the line at photos that could potentially be embarrassing and I don’t post a million photos daily though. There is a balance to be found for sure.
Post # 8
emmabird : “If I make a human, does that mean that it is my property to show-off to the public, as innocent as my intentions may be?”
I think, regardless of the social media question, a human being, even one’s child, is never property with which one can do what they please. Humans, including babies, belong to themselves only.
Post # 9
jz0909 : I agree with the embarrassing stories being too much. My mom insists on telling the same few embarrassing stories from my childhood every time DH and I visit. I have told her to stop before but she always retorts with, “no! you were cute!” I would hate if that existed online. Especailly if she would refuse to delete it because it was “cute!”
Post # 10
pawneegoddess : Which is my point. You take a picture of your dog and post it online without dog’s consent. But dog is your property. That’s not even questioned. But baby is a human. Not property. Is it okay to put online as such? Because, just like dog, no consent is available. And arguably, might not even be valid consent until the child is old enough to understand the implications of posting their personal childhood photos on the internet.
Post # 11
emmabird : I mean, I don’t have children, but I personally am not a fan of putting huge amounts of baby pictures online because children cannot consent until they’re older. I think with animals, it’s different because the concepts of consent, privacy, or embarrassment/shame at having sensitive pictures posted online will never be relevant with them. But as a child ages, those will be valid concerns. That being said, I think posting occasional pictures isn’t really a bad thing.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
I’m having a baby soon but I only plan on sharing a few pictures and the pictures I do share have to be fully clothed in appropriate clothing. Mostly so baby’s grandparents can see it since we dont and probably will never live close. I barely use my social media as it is so I see no reason to start using it alot now either. I don’t plan on tagging either and if later they decide they want what I do share taken down then no problem. My kid should decide what gets posted of them.
Post # 13
I’m currently 7 months pregnant. I use social media for work (I’m a photographer) and 90% of my Instagram are client/work photos, with about 10% of them being my personal life. Most photos of my personal life are my dogs, our pregnancy announcement, the occasional vacation, etc. My personal facebook is not super active (because it’s linked with Instagram and I don’t share my “work” photos to my personal facebook) and so I’m rarely posting pictures and NEVER post general status updates unless it goes with a photo.
I personally don’t see any issue with sharing your kids on social media, provided you aren’t an obnoxious over-sharer. I think we live in an age where friends and family are more spread out across the country than ever before. This results in less get-togethers of families and less access to seeing each other. Growing up we got together with both sides of the family EVERY Thanksgiving & Christmas, and even at other times of the year. As an adult I cannot tell you the last time my extended family (grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc) was all together for a holiday. I want to say it’s been *at least* 17 years. Social media has become a way to share you life with others. Some people use it appropriately while others share too much.
At the end of the day it becomes a matter of doing what works for you and not worrying about how others do it. In reference to the post from the other day about the kid’s birthday party…..when it comes to social media we live in a world where you either accept it as part of everyday life now or you don’t. There is nothing wrong with being against social media (I personally think it’s become a detriment to our society, even though I do use it myself) but you have to be ok with people excluding you from photos/gatherings that will be heavily photographed and shared.
Post # 14
DappledDuchess : Sounds like you are a woman with a plan! How would you handle a family member or close friend sharing or re-posting a baby photo? This happens and I recall reading an argument between grandma and mom on whether grandma has the right to share grandbaby’s pictures.
Post # 15
As long as they aren’t embarrassing, overly personal pictures I have zero problems with sharing kids pictures on social media.
Its not like sharing your kids picture is a new social media phenomenon. It just makes it easier.
You might want to consider who you are friends with on social media. My friends list 90% family who would want pictures anyway. We don’t live close to any family so social media is a big part of how we all share with each other.
I also don’t think sharing pictures of your kid means you view them as your property. Lots of people share pictures of others all the time without asking. I doubt they think thier friends/family in thier property. Or what about pictures people have displayed in thier homes? Or physical picture albums they pull out? Or even just mailing physical copies of pictures to grandparents? Babies can’t consent to that so are you not going to ever share pictures of your baby? Or you can take it even further by saying you shouldn’t even take thier picture ever in the first place because they can’t consent. I just think it’s overthinking.