(Closed) she bought dress I wanted, she's getting married first

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

A: It’s just a dress. A dress does not make your life, your happiness, your love or your marriage. You two have good taste, so run with it. At the end of the day, your wedding is just one day of the rest of your life, and the small details (Such as this) aren’t going to matter to you in the slightest.

B: Your fiance isn’t going to notice. He’s going to be wondering how much longer the ceremony will be because he’ll want to get to the reception. Trust me — No man enjoys going to or being in a wedding. They do so out of duty, loyalty, friendship & love.

Post # 4
481 posts
Helper bee

Are you two a similar size? If so, I’d TOTALLY borrow/buy it from her after her wedding and wear it for yours. Wedding dresses are actually pretty “invisible” to the average onlooker, and with different accessories/hair/venue/groom/colorscheme I’ll bet NO ONE would know. 

Post # 5
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your wedding is so far off that I really don’t think anyone will remember what her dress looks like except her. But I would probably wait to get a dress because your tastes might change and new dresses come out all the time.

Post # 6
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

One of my best friends got married a few months ago. If you were to put her dress in a line up with similar dresses- I’d have NO clue which one was hers. People forget. Don’t worry- I agree with the PP -see if you can buy/borrow it!


Post # 7
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@MsLiveOak:  IT’s likely she’ll have different accessories, hair, shoes, etc. I haven’t gone dress shopping yet but I’m told some accesories, sashes and things can absolutely transform a dress. 

Post # 8
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Ha! That dress is one of my favorites! I agree with the PP’s. Nobody will remember that dress by the time your wedding comes. She probably will, obviously, but other than that I don’t think people will think twice about it. If you love it, go with it. I hate to say it though, there are dozens of dresses similar to that. I don’t think it’s too unique in the fact that it looks like every other empire waist tulle dress out there. 

Post # 11
247 posts
Helper bee

GORGEOUS dress! you girls obviously have great taste! I say go for it, and if your a little apprehensive, some embelishment is the way to go.

Maybe have some embriodered lace detailed on the skirt or if your into colour, have the bottom few inches dip dyed to your liking, add a sash!

With such a gorgeous canvas, you cant go too far wrong. In fact, your situation has given you a realm of possibilities! 

Post # 12
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MsLiveOak:  No offense, but you did tell her that she could choose whatever dress she wanted and that you’d figure it out later. If you didn’t mean that, you shouldn’t have said it. 

That said, if your weddings are far enough apart, you could probably wear it and no one would notice. Besides–the way you accessorize it will no doubt be totally different. It won’t look the same on you as on her. 

Post # 13
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsLiveOak:  I don’t typically feel jealousy either, and never did in terms of my wedding (but most of my friends are already married or never getting married again maybe thats why LOL)


However,….if I could give you one piece of advice it would be this. Its ok to feel how you feel, but if it were me, I’d scratch that dress off my list and look for something else.


The few times in life I fell in love with a particular “thing” and someone else i knew got to it first, changing my mind and looking for something else (better) proved to be the best thing in the long run.


So my advice/vote is….GO FIND A NEW DRESS LOVE πŸ™‚

Post # 14
3552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I just finished my dress search. The dress I bought I would have never chosen from the picture online it’s absolutely awful. I also suprised myself by getting a ballgown because I hate poof (it’s not a poofy ballgown). I was really suprised by how different the silhouettes looked on me versus the models. When you really start looking you might find yourself getting a dress you would not have imagined yourself picking.

Also as a sidenote, if you are planning an outdoor wedding, be aware that a tulle bottom dress will pick up every leaf, twig, and blade of grass.

Post # 15
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If her dress fits, and she’s okay with it, I’d totally borrow or buy it from her.

Otherwiseeeeee, consider these:

Venus Pallas Athena AF086 (my dress! looks MUCH better on a real person):

Mori Lee 1809:

After Six 1027:

Voyage by Mori Lee 6762:

Voyage by Mori Lee 6764:

Voyage by Mori Lee 6766:

Post # 16
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

There was a thread last week that was asking if your Darling Husband could describe your wedding dress.  http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/can-your-husband-describe-your-wedding-dress#axzz2YNF4qylU

Check it out.  Most of the men cannot (including my Darling Husband who LOVED my city hall dress and kept saying how amazing I looked). The point is, YOU make the dress, not the other way around.

Your friend’s offer to embroider to help make it unique is really kind.  As well, other accessories will make a difference.  E.g. if she has a long veil, you could do birdcage, pearls instead of crystal etc (not sure what your taste in accessories is but you get the gist).


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