(Closed) She bought my dress.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If it’s of any consolation, I had two first-cousins who got married in the exact same dress (one borrowed the dress from the other) but I never even realized it!  I never knew a thing about it until my aunt (the mother of the first bride) pointed it out to me (ten years later)!  It will be okay, seriously. 🙂

I also agree with the other posters that there’s a possibility that your sister-in-law didn’t do this intentionally.  She might not even remember that you had this dress.  From what I’m told, very few people remember exactly which dress the bride in any given wedding has, including the groom!

Even if she does know it’s your dress, though, I would highly recommend just letting her HAVE the dress since it means so much to her.  She obviously really loves it and shouldn’t she have what she wants for her wedding day?  If she has to pick something else just because you had this dress first and she doesn’t like the other dress as much as she likes this one, she’s going to regret it and probably blame you for the rest of your lives.  Remember, she is going to be your sister-in-law for the rest of your life so you want to get along with this girl!  Let her be happy on her wedding day just like you were. 🙂

Post # 33
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d find this weird but not annoying. Sure, there are literally thousands of other dresses out there, but we all know what it’s like to find the one dress we really truly love, and if it just so happens that someone else in our social circle truly loves it too, that probably means more that people in the same social circle tend to have similar tastes than anything else. 

OP your wedding already happened and chances are, none of your bridesmaids could pick your exact dress out of a lineup, let alone any of the guests. No one is going to say “those girls are really weird for wearing the same dress”  or “haven’t I seen this dress somewhere before?”  And on the extreme off-chance that anyone notices, they’re not going to think negatively of you.  You wore it first. 

The only one this is going to bother is you, and that’s entirely within your control. I suggest you not let this bother you.

Post # 34
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

It’s just a few bolts of cloth, this really isn’t something worth putting energy into. 

And besides, clothes look different on different people, the dress will look a lot different on her than it did on you. This isn’t Hollywood, no one is going to be comparing them. 

Post # 35
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

View original reply
@SophiaPetrillo:  Woah woah woah… HEY GIRL HEY!

 

But yeah, no big deal. No one’s going to notice.  I almost bought the same dress as a good friend of mine for weddings 8 months apart and neither of us cared.

No worries. Seriously.

Post # 36
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

View original reply
@Blanche:  I was wondering if you and ‘Sophia’ had met. Awesome. 

Post # 37
Member
9966 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@mypinkshoes:  +1.

Post # 38
Member
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

My mother always taught me that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, she probably saw it on you and thought it was so beautiful!  I can see how you might be upset, everyone wants to have their signature looks and things, but clothing looks so different on everyone, you might be surprised what a totally unique look she creates with it….I am almost certain she meant no harm in the least, it’s a compliment.

Post # 39
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

My Future Sister-In-Law wore a beautiful dress on her wedding- so much so, I had to look it up and see the specifics on it. No, I wouldn’t buy the same dress but her dress did have me rethinking mine. Take it as a compliment. That dress had to look really good on you for her to want it as well.

Post # 40
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

People probably won’t notice…and if they do, the joke’s on her.

Post # 41
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly you need to get over it. It’s also possible that she isn’t copying you she just really likes the dress. Your wedding was three months ago, I bet if your guest to pick your dress out of a lineup 99 percent of them wouldn’t be able to do it. I mean maybe even your husband wouldn’t be able to do it.

The only people are are going to notice is probably you, your mom, and perhaps a few wedding obessed former brides, or brides to be.

Post # 42
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t worry about it at all!  I seriously doubt anyone is going to notice it is the same dress except for you, Future Sister-In-Law, and your moms.  I’ve been to over over a dozen weddings in the past 3 years and I barely remember what the bride’s dress looked like.  And really the only reason why I sort of remember is because I have crazy wedding brain and lately I’ve been looking at pictures of my friends’ weddings and their dresses.

Just out of curiosity, is it a popular dress?  Can we see a picture?

Post # 43
Member
10451 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

That really weird… Obviously she loved the dress so she had to get it, but WHY try it in he first place? I have ruled out dresses and even similar dresses based on what friends have worn recently. 

Post # 46
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@irelandchris:  So basically, when she saw you in the dress, she told you how she would accessorize it differently, not that she didn’t like the dress.  Should she have said those things to your face?  Probably not.  But I wouldn’t worry about it.  

To be honest, I don’t remember any of the wedding dresses from any wedding that I’ve been to.

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