(Closed) She called me a Bridezilla at my bridal shower…

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You ask her to be a bridesmaid because it apparently means a lot to her and you’re marrying into the family. Do you really want this to set the tone for your future relationships with the in-laws?

Post # 4
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well no matter the mistake she went off the deep end based on what you have written… she shouldn’t have called you a bridezilla. No you don’t need to have her in the party, sometimes brides don’t even have their own sisters in the party. Now I would take her to lunch and buy her something small to make up for the mistake about the hosts. I would then talk to Fiance because this is his sister and he needs to deal with her not paying for the clothes and treating you unfair.

Post # 5
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Did she call you a bridezilla just because you didn’t give her a gift?

I hope you at least apologized for not knowing that she was co-hosting your shower. It seems like she’s very hurt that you didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid, but she was the bigger person & helped host a shower in your honor, and then you don’t even acknowledge her involvement (I know you didn’t know, but see it from her perspective). I’m sure she feels like it’s another slap in the face.

Post # 6
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Paigey:  I’d say this but if your date is correct, you don’t have much time. In that case, I’d ask her to do a reading for your ceremony. And I’d also be prepared for a resounding ‘no’ when you ask.

Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Do you know why she was listed as a host?

You didn’t do anything wrong, since you didn’t know she was listed (I assume you didn’t receive an invitation, you just knew the date and time and where to show up, which is common.)  Just explain to her like you did to us – you’re so sorry for not getting her anything, you didn’t realize she was co-hosting, you will make it up to her.

You were not obligated to include her in the bridal party; if your Fiance really wanted her she could have stood on his side.

You may need to eat the cost of the childrens’ attire at this point.

Post # 9
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

You shouldn’t be bullied into making your Future Sister-In-Law a bridesmaid… like you thought, a reading might be nice or some other function, maybe make a toast specifically to her during your rehearsal dinner?  Get her a present to make up for missing her as one of the hosts of your shower?  I just think it’s totally unfair to be forced into adding a bridesmaid for whatever reason.  Good luck!!

Post # 10
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@elysion:  Oh hoho, I think asking her to do a toast in front of everyone would be bad, might be some snark

A reading is a good idea though.

Post # 11
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@se15kinn:  “ I also called and aplogized to my future Mother-In-Law. She suggested i do something nice for her and dot  (her daughter) to make them feel special and included in the wedding.”

LOL, I’m sorry. Maybe your Future Mother-In-Law has good intentions (it happens…?) and really meant to just push the idea of making your SIL feel special and included herself as a package deal to make it  seem less like she was dictating what you should do, but OH MY. You can’t ask someone to “make us feel special and included”. That’s something you have to deserve.

Good grief. 

Perhaps making her a bridesmaid is the thing to do. I know it’s late in the game but it seems to be the most impactful way to smooth things over. In most cases, I would agree with others that you shouldn’t be bullied into it, but you actually did make a large enough mistake that your next move should be strong. 

She might not say yes, but it’s worth a shot.

Post # 12
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What paigey said x2

Post # 13
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

OH I’d just avoid the conflict and save yourself years of headaches … call her for coffee and say. “Things have been rough, I’m sorry… please be my bridesmaid” and then make it clear that it’s your show. I AGREE… you shouldn’t have to, but ask yourself if it will matter in five years when you all have framed wedding photos… guessing are it will!

 

Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think it is BS that you should get bullied into making her a bridesmaid.  I also find it absurd that a grown woman with children would throw a temper tamtrum about this.  Ask her to do a reading at the wedding and if she gives you any more grief tell your Fiance to deal withit.  You’re marrying your Fiance, you don’t have to become BFF’s with his sister…

 

Post # 15
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Do not ask her to be a bm!! If u dont want it dont do it!!

It will only cause more problems for you.

Just try to distance yourself from her. After u give her a gift and apologize.

Post # 16
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 

dont have her in the wedding at all! She will only cause u more problems!

 

 

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