- 7 months ago
- Wedding: April 2019
This might not be the place for this, but what the hell.
I’m a male seeking female opinions on a seemingly obvious situation. And I feel like a schmuck for even asking.
We were together for seven years, engaged for the past two years and due to be married next month. I’m 35, she’s 30. I supported her through college (everything BUT tuition) and was absolutely sure she was the love of my life and the one to carry till death do us part. The past year was tough with many changes and challenges to face (graduation, moving, new job, planning wedding, looking for a home, etc.). The new job in September meant I was out of town for up to 7 days at a time. The distance drove a wedge between us and she seemed to be enjoying her new found freedom … by not taking on responsibilities with our plans or helping to solve any issues along the way.
I found out two days before christmas she was having an affair. I confronted her about the phone bill, which she initially denied stating ‘he was just a friend’, but called the next day and fessed up to physically cheating on me before Halloween (two months of lies and deceit).
Understandably, I did not react very well over the next couple weeks. She came and picked up her stuff in January. I took the ring and dress back, and well, bascally everything I paid for … except the car, which was in her name.
I have been broken and shattered to a point I didn’t know existed and am having trouble coping and moving on with my life. Nothing brings me joy anymore and I do not enjoy my job or hobbies as most were done with her. I made the mistake of making her the center of my universe and thoughts of her stay with me throughout the entire day. The nightmares are endless.
I should obviously move on with my life. My mind knows it’s true. But my heart is so broken, but so drawn to her … wishing for a way to make this work. We have been no contact for 30-days. I would go to the ends of the earth to have her back, but I’m only getting mixed signals from her.
Any suggestions or advice? … or insight from the female perspective? (my female friend list is very short which is why, I guess, I am asking here)