(Closed) She does nothing but discourage my FI

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well if your Fi keeps going to his mom for advice, he probably knows what to expect. A temp agency isn’t a bad idea, though. But your Fiance is a grown man and he could choose to do what he pleases. Instead he chooses to just stay home and listen to his mom. I know it doesn’t help that your Future Mother-In-Law is sorta bitchy, but i think the bigger problem is that your Fiance just listened to her and called it a day. If he knows she is discouraging, he should talk to you, not her. You are blaming your Future Mother-In-Law for what your Fi is doing. I just don’t get it–he is choosing to stay home because he’s in a sour mood. I’d have told him to suck it up and go.

But you live in her house and as much as it sucks, it sounds like she sees him as a dependent child. I don’t think she is thrilled to have you guys living there. In my opinion, you should be doing all your own dishes…you get free rent, right? It may sound petty but you’re in their house. I had to rinse off all my dishes as a child. I still do when I visit my parents. Or they get super annoyed and crab at me over it. And she has priority on the washing machine, so I don’t see the big deal there. The money thing is irrelevant–if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it.

Post # 4
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

This situation really sucks! As someone who’s been through Future Mother-In-Law hell I will give you this advice: keep the peace! Whatever you can do just try to tough it out until after the wedding when you guys have moved out into your own place. Chances are your relationship will be much better once you are living apart. It’s tough having a roomate let alone your parents when you’re an adult. All these issues just seem to be about nagging and chores. It’s almost as if your Fiance is back in high school again. His mother probably views him as she always has. Try to remember that you are just annoyed at the moment and in the future these feelings will probably subside. Thankfully it doesn’t seem as if any of these issues are deep-rooted. Would it really be worth it to get this all off your shoulders to your Future Mother-In-Law and then wreck your relationship with her? I’m guessing no because although they seem big now, later on you’ll see that it was all ust a bunch of tension and nerves bundled up to cause this situation. Just try your best to be strong and be that support for your Fiance if she can’t be. You guys will be out of there an on your own in no time.

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