(Closed) Never Mind

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I feel bad for your friend and her baby.  Very tough situations to be in.  I have no idea what I would do if I were her.

Just try to support her emotionally and encourage her. 

Post # 4
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

I don’t think your crazy, but this is pretty horrible for any person to endure and generally a fairly inflammatory post taking a shot at single mothers, adoption, AND senior citizens….its terribly hard to watch anyone struggle, especially with a baby…why not give your friend a day off and take the baby to to zoo or something while she gets herself sorted?

Post # 5
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Abortion is a very personal decision that each person has to make for themselves. Don’t judge your friend, it sounds like things are hard enough for her already. Try to be understanding of her extraordinarily shitty situation. Can you offer to do somethings to help her out? Maybe come over one day and help her clean the house, assist with running errands, or make dinner for the family? I bet that would really help with her stress level.

Post # 7
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@bunnyharriet:  That truly sucks. I feel for your friend… but more for the child. The child did not ask for this.

And this will be an unpopular opinion as well, and I’ll preface this by saying that I am no saint, but I get annoyed with how these days a lot of women think it’s ok/normal to have casual sex. That f*** buddies are a normal thing, and one night stands aren’t risky. That you don’t need love to have sex. THIS is what can happen.

The argument is that ‘well, if men can do it…’. Sorry love, but men can’t get pregnant. I am not saying you need to be a virgin up until marriage or anything like that, but have a little common sense and if you’re going to screw around, at least use birth control.

I hope she is able to pull herself out of this mess. What’s done is done, whether she should have had an abortion is a moot point now. I just hope she can find a way to give that child a life he deserves.




Post # 9
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

“I think it’s selfish to decide to let a fetus develop into a baby if you can’t care for it, or won’t be caring for it yourself (i.e. giving it up for adoption)”

Selfish is a pretty strong word. I’d say your friend got herself into an unfortunate situation (unplanned pregnancy) and took responsibility for her actions and stepped up to the plate. You think it’s selfish that she didn’t abort her baby?

It sounds like she’s in a really tough place. Hopefully things will get better as the child gets a little older. Instead of criticizing her decisions, maybe you should be trying to help in any way that you can: babysitting, cooking dinner, literally anything sounds like it would help at this point.

ETA: You posted while I was typing — I see that you live several hours away. Do you have any mutual friends that you could contact and see if they could help out?

Post # 11
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@bunnyharriet:  ..uhhh…how many people do you know who were adopted?  AND how many of them were adopted through agencies which arranged said adoption prior to birth versus how many of them were taken as wards of the state after a parent lost their rights in the eyes of children services…because that does make a difference.

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