(Closed) She ignored my wishes and brought the baby… surprise it cried during my vows

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 152
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@j_jaye:  She didn’t exclude anyone because of children, the OP provided certified child care! If the woman didn’t feel comfortable leaving her child with the provided child care, she should have found her own babysitter or respectfully declined the invite.

Post # 153
Member
557 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@LillyLover:   Girl, no need to delete the thread because there is one crazy person on the loose!


I just bwahahaha’d at this!

 

OP you are right and this lady who screwed your wedding video is a total c-u-next-tuesday. I would call her out now since you didn’t get a chance to do it during the ceremony. Ooh I am so mad for you, I would have turned around during the ceremony and told her to GTFO!

Post # 154
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

OP, I am livid for you! We made a rule that only kids who are family and those in the bridal party are invited. For us it was more of a cost issue than anything else. The number of kids we had to exclude is close to 30 so if their parents decide to bring them it will be a serious financial issue for us as our venue charges for any extra “guests.” 

@j_jaye: The bottom line is that we all have our own rules and exceptions for our weddings and ALL guests should be respectful of that, parents or not!

OP, I’m am truly sorry this happened to you.

Post # 155
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would be sooooooo mad, raging bridezilla crazy person mad.  I have to invite my fiances nephews as it is (7 months and 4) and it is already being drama filled.    If it was up to me none would be invited and if someone hijacked my wedding with a baby…a screaming baby for that matter, there would be hell.  

I’m sorry this happened to you, you have every right to be upset.  I would not let this slide and have your fiance or you voice your feelings.

Post # 156
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Glittergirl_2013:  I can’t help but wonder if she was jealous of your ceremony… did she not have a wedding or something? Or is she not married herself?

This woman’s hypocrisy is the worst part! OP wrote: “The sad part is I sat in their dining room a year before our wedding and she said she understood. That she herself had a childless wedding.”

UGH!!!

Post # 157
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think the whole “I dont want kids at my wedding” is a little overboard, but I see why you didn’t! I would be upset too. Why the hell wouldn’t she get up and remove her crying child? Some people are clueless/oblivious/rude and selfish.

Post # 158
Member
7530 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@LillyLover:  Ok that was really rude! I wasn’t rude to anyone just stated a differing opinion though I will point out again in my original post I did say that the mother should have declined the invite but still posters just picked out parts of my post to comment on! I only enquired about the age of the baby- never said anything about inviting kids to weddings. The family comment was because a poster said weddings were not about celebrating family. I was pointing out that in fact they are- it is about the creation of a new family you know the two people getting married!

Forums are based on opinions- not that you have to agree with everything written. I never pushed my opinion on anyone. Instead isn’t what you doing worse? Making me feel like my opinion is worthless/wrong and making me feel unwelcomed here?

Post # 159
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I cannot believe that she wrote that in the guestbook! That’s the icing on the cake!

Post # 160
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m not sure how you should deal with this – if you’re going to see her at family functions and whatnot in the future, I think you should say something now rather than let it fester and explode later.  Write out the points you want to make, call her, go through them very calmly, and then bite on something when she inevitably gives you a weaselly response.  

You could frame it as “I am trying to let it go, but now that we have the video and we can’t hear anything, it’s getting harder to do that.  I’d like to know why you ignored my wishes, and decided to hide your decision from me until the last minute.”  Don’t get into why you didn’t want kids there – it’s not relevant.  And don’t use words like “pissed” or “angry.”  Say “sad” or “disappointed” – it’s a lot harder for someone to defend themselves against making the bride feel down.

Ugh, sorry this happened but try to get past it and let it go.  The lady’s life seems kind of pathetic.

Post # 161
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@j_jaye:  Referring to you as a crazy person was inappropriate; my apologies. I stand by the rest of what I said. You can share your opinion in a respectful manner, and to me, you weren’t doing that. You were upsetting a woman who was already upset. No need to push the issue. 

Post # 162
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Hi OP,

This is what I want to do when people don’t manage their spawn properly: http://www.whoisthemonkey.com/videos/26family-guy-brian-flips-out-on-baby

Also, in all honesty, it looks like she KNOWS she made a mistake and was trying to pass it off with humor in the guest book. Personally, I know confrontation is very difficult, but you feel SO much better if you just let someone know they screwed up. If I were to talk or write to her, I would not do a snarky passive aggressive thing (writing the note) – which is weird cause that is SO me,  but I would just say something along the lines of “I am really angry that you brought your baby when I specifically indicated that no children were allowed. It was disrespectful and ruined a special day which I had planned for X amount of months. At the very least, you could have had enough manners to take the child that was specifically NOT invited away from the ceremony once she had started crying, but you didn’t even have enough tact or respect to do that. You should be ashamed.”

BAM BABY. I swear it will feel good, be 100% accurate and let her know that this type of behavior will never be acceptable. You would not be a bitch for telling her what’s what, cause people like her need to be made aware exactlly how fucked up what they did was. You’d be doing her a kindness really.

Post # 163
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I completely agree that you’re in the right to be upset and would be right to tell her, but its the kind of situation where she can make you sound like a monster as if your grudge were with the baby itself.

Post # 164
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow, the audacity of this girl! I’d be beyond livid too. You should seriously confront her about this issue–you deserve a deep hearted apology!

Post # 165
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Pixie79:  Ahahahaha, I thought of that clip too and was hoping someone would post it! Laughing

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