Post # 1
I am in a slightly awkward situation: One of my coworkers who is not invited to my wedding (she is super friendly with me, but I am a little weary of her) has always asked me about things related to the wedding. She even offered to come dress shopping with me (which I got out of, thankfully). The other day during a boring meeting, she asked me when and where my shower was going to be. I told her the date and general location (just the city) and she said, "I would love to go! I’d love to get you a gift!" While I know she only has the best intentions, I feel that if I put her on the shower list, I need to put her on the wedding list, and I just don’t want her to be such a big part of my life. We are having a large wedding, but I am only inviting two other coworkers and I don’t want this woman to think she is my bff. Advice??
Post # 3
Does she think she’s getting invited to the wedding?
Maybe she just wants to share that she’s excited. Does she work in your department?
Post # 4
Tell her you aren’t running the shower- that you spoke with your maid of honor who has already made specific plans for the select amount of people going which is consisting of family and family friends predominantly? And then maybe mention, you didn’t realize how having additional people would be a bit more than your Maid/Matron of Honor can handle?
Post # 5
Next time she comes asking around about wedding details, I’d complain about shower guest list frustrations, and how you’d like to invite everyone but where (MOH, Mother, Friend) decided to hold the shower, there just isn’t enough room. Just be tricky 😉
Post # 6
As I suggest in most of these awkward situations… LIE!
Just say that your mom/MOH/great-aunt/kidney donor is planning the shower for just immediate family. Maybe add- my mom/MOH/great-aunt is a real stickler for etiquette and doesn’t think it’s appropriate to invite women to the shower who aren’t invited to the wedding- and since your wedding is so small and intimate it’s going to be a really small shower (that way it’s clear she’s not invited to either event).
Or, just wait until until closer and tell her that it’s been indefinitely postponsed because your second cousin’s youngest daughter ruptured her spleen playing field hockey and the family is rallying around her.
Post # 7
LOL. I side with RosyChicklet. Great advice.
Post # 8
haha, RosyChicklet is hilarious. I’ll write that one down…
Post # 9
I agree as well! Plus she really shouldnt be invited if shes not invited to the wedding.
Post # 10
You are not obligated to invited people to anything just because they invite themselves. Let her know that your Maid/Matron of Honor is hosting your shower and has already made plans for the number of people she planned to invite, but you appreciate her support.
Also, the more you tell her about the wedding, the more included she will feel, and she’ll want to be invited. Cut down on the wedding talk at work! It’s not polite to prance around talking about your big party that’ll be SO great, and oh by the way, you’re not invited.
Although I’ve been known to prance…and brag maybe a little about the wedding…so maybe part of this is a reminder to myself…(checking to make sure I’m listening!)
Post # 11
S it likely there will be a shower at work for you? Maybe she can be a part of that. Or plan it. Work showers don’t obligate you to invite coworkers to your wedding.