(Closed) She invited herself to my shower…

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Does she think she’s getting invited to the wedding?

Maybe she just wants to share that she’s excited. Does she work in your department?

Post # 4
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Tell her you aren’t running the shower- that you spoke with your maid of honor who has already made specific plans for the select amount of people going which is consisting of family and family friends predominantly? And then maybe mention, you didn’t realize how having additional people would be a bit more than your Maid/Matron of Honor can handle?

Post # 5
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Next time she comes asking around about wedding details, I’d complain about shower guest list frustrations, and how you’d like to invite everyone but where (MOH, Mother, Friend) decided to hold the shower, there just isn’t enough room.  Just be tricky 😉

Post # 6
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

As I suggest in most of these awkward situations… LIE!

Just say that your mom/MOH/great-aunt/kidney donor is planning the shower for just immediate family. Maybe add- my mom/MOH/great-aunt is a real stickler for etiquette and doesn’t think it’s appropriate to invite women to the shower who aren’t invited to the wedding- and since your wedding is so small and intimate it’s going to be a really small shower (that way it’s clear she’s not invited to either event).

Or, just wait until until closer and tell her that it’s been indefinitely postponsed because your second cousin’s youngest daughter ruptured her spleen playing field hockey and the family is rallying around her.

Post # 7
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

LOL. I side with RosyChicklet. Great advice.

Post # 9
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I agree as well!  Plus she really shouldnt be invited if shes not invited to the wedding. 

Post # 10
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

You are not obligated to invited people to anything just because they invite themselves.  Let her know that your Maid/Matron of Honor is hosting your shower and has already made plans for the number of people she planned to invite, but you appreciate her support.

Also, the more you tell her about the wedding, the more included she will feel, and she’ll want to be invited.  Cut down on the wedding talk at work!  It’s not polite to prance around talking about your big party that’ll be SO great, and oh by the way, you’re not invited.

 Although I’ve been known to prance…and brag maybe a little about the wedding…so maybe part of this is a reminder to myself…(checking to make sure I’m listening!)

Post # 11
2640 posts
Sugar bee

S it likely there will be a shower at work for you?  Maybe she can be a part of that.  Or plan it.  Work showers don’t obligate you to invite coworkers to your wedding.

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