(Closed) She is stealing our wedding!!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Why do people do this?? it must be pure jealousy, they can’t let anyone else have any attention and instead try to steal thunder and ideas.

She sounds totally psycho, she’ll be married to a guy she pretty much just met in a few months? And it HAD to be 1 week before your wedding? With the same theme as yours? 

The only thing you can do is just roll your eyes and keep going with your wedding plans. Just don’t tell her any details from here on out. She will do a good job making herself look bad, no need on your end.

Post # 4
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh just let as many people know as you can you were engaged before she was and had let her know about your wedding theme.

I had some female relatives do this very thing when I got engaged to my xh along time ago.  Not only did these people take my centerpieces from my reception (now we joke that they were going to reverse-engineer my centerpieces) but they stole the feel of my music hijacking my love for andrew lloyd webber!

Oh well.  Just laugh about it b/c those who attend your wedding first will feel like they’ve had deja vu at her wedding. 

People will know she stole ideas from you, meanwhile you just laugh it off! That’s my whole take on things now. 

Post # 5
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

wow that SUCKS. I am trying to keep my lips zipped as much as possible because I’m worried about this happening.


Also– just to be clear. Nov they meet, less than 2 mo later they’re engaged, and they’re getting married in 6 months? Perhaps you should suggest that she leave your wedding them to you and save her enchanged fairy party for her divorce party…. SOOOO JOKING. 🙂

Post # 6
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That’s insane! Doesnt she realize that she is going to look so stupid when her wedding will be the same as yours? Every bride out there wants their wedding to be unique in their own special way, not to steal other’s ideas.  I hope this family member isnt your sister.  So sorry you have to go through this, its really strange.  My sister just got married last August and her theme was pink and blue, I intentionally make sure nothing in my wedding is pink or blue, my theme is red and gold and im doing things alot differently than her. Its just ethical in my part especially for family.  Hope everything goes well for you (and not for her, haha JK) and DO NOT tell her anything you are planning to do

Post # 7
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

You should kidnap her and throw her in a broom closet until the wedding is over.  Just kidding.


I would sit her and tell her “Yeah, I know I’m awesome but seriously, get your own dream.  Stop trying to steal mine.” I know it sucks but I would just keep everything on the download for now.  That way no one else can accidently give her any more info than she already has. 

Chances are, she’s not going to have a wedding if she just met this guy and already planning a wedding.

Post # 8
226 posts
Helper bee

That’s a really witchy thing to do and I’m sorry that you have to deal with it. Since yours is a week after hers now, I can imagine that you’re stressed about having something you’ve worked so hard on to be unique look like a do-over because of a jealous thunder-stealer. Try to think of how to make yours different in ways so creative that she would have trouble trying to imitate them. Also, be very selective in the details that you share with anyone. If she is going to steal your theme, let her flounder on her own for trying to make any concept materialize. It’s bad enough she’s going after the theme, don’t let your details end up delivered to her on a silver platter by a friend or family member.

ETA: Try to incorporate some nontraditional colors and uses of light. This person can’t be very creative to steal someone else’s theme.

Post # 9
15 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

If possible, keep future details to yourself.

Post # 10
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

Yikes, that is not cool. I’m sorry! Do you know if she was doing it intentionally for sure?

Yuck, I just don’t know why people would try to take someone else’s theme in the first place; people that do that don’t have a mind of their own. There are so many options….

Post # 11
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

That’s worse than stealing baby names! Ick. My tendency would be to call her out on it privately, but I’m kind of balsy like that. Don’t keep quiet about your wedding plans though! 

Post # 12
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

That’s pretty terrible.  I agree with Bellenga, I would tell everyone I could that I was engaged first, and picked my date and theme before her. 

Then, make sure she isn’t privy to any more of your wedding details.  Sorry, and good luck!

Post # 13
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Not. Cool. I am so, so glad that I have no girl cousins or siblings for that reason. No worries about anyone stealing ideas! And I’m the first of my friends to get married, and only one would be considered close.

Post # 14
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow that is such a beyatch move! I would keep my wedding plans under wraps from now on and if she asks you give her *fake* things that you are doing in your wedding…like really ridiculous things and see if she does them! It’ll be good for a laugh. I find it weird that she met and got engaged within months. I know sometimes when you find the one you want to move quick but meet, engaged and married within 7 months? Sounds like she is really really jealous of you and wants attention bad. Hope she enjoys her divorce after! lol kidding kinda.

Post # 15
1565 posts
Bumble bee

This is really horribe of her to do, especially since she picked a wedding date right before yours. If you’ve been engaged for a while and have had your wedding theme picked out, I think it’s going to be pretty clear to friends and family who’s copying whom.

I would also remember having your wedding theme stolen, painful as it may be, is not nearly as bad as marrying a dude you met 3 months ago to prove a point to someone else and dealing with the consequences for many years after.

Post # 16
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, she probably picked the same stuff as you because she has no imagination….  Or maybe she wishes deep down that she had the kind of relationship you do, and is desperately trying create that in her own relationship.

Well be sure not to give her anymore details.  Watch her sink in a sea of her own inimagination.  She won’t be able to pull it off like you.  Of course if it was me, I’d be opening a six pack of wedding planning whoop a** all over her.  It would probably get ugly.

And if all else fails, realize that somewhere, sooner or later, you will still be happy with your husband, and she will be probably be struggling.

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