Post # 1
Hi, 1st post, but a long one as it’s a cry for help. 🙂
Okay, well I’ve messed up in my ‘subtle‘ attempts to get information about what her ideal ring might have and whether she would say yes to a proposal from me.
In short she’s figured out that I plan to propose to her on her birthday a few days after meeting her father for the first time and asking for his blessing.
On the positive side she’s given me strong indication that she would say “yes” so I’m pretty excited for that. On the negative, as she’s now expecting it, I’ve lost the excitement from a surprise proposal and feel I need to do more than I initially planned.
To make matters worse I’ll be proposing to her in a city I’ve never visited and where I don’t speak the language fluently (China) so organising something might be tricky. (Any contacts anyone can offer would be appreciated).
My original proposal idea should still be okay as a base as I haven’t, yet, blown this surprise. I plan on presenting over the course of her birthday 99 red themed gifts with the 98th being a locked wooden ring box & the 99th being a unique ring (the box lock can only be opened with a key on a necklace she has worn since Christmas)
Has anyone got any suggestions on how I can add something to this to either win back surprise or ramp up the romance?
Post # 3
Any way you could change the proposal date? Proposing earlier would be a suprise! Are you traveling to China together? If so what about in the airport before you leave? or put it in her carry-on to find or something. I think anything you do will be special and awesome— I love your idea about the gifts! Good luck! And post a pic of the ring!
Post # 4
@JEdward: Cute proporsal idea!
How far off is the birthday? If I were you, I’d just muddle up the timeframe you gave her with double speak. Tell her a month or two before hand that you’ll have a surprise for her on x day. Give her some silly, yet loving gift. Throw around random dates as being special, and make an effort to make them so.
Are you guys in a long distance relationship? If she isn’t around you often, it might be difficut. Good luck with it, though!
Post # 5
Don’t propose on her birthday. Do it either a day early or the day after.
Post # 6
Yes it’s a long distance relationship so we only get to see each other in person every couple of months. The date is pretty fixed as it’s her birthday and it’s tricky for me to change that to another date without messing her expectations.
It’s not till October so I have plenty of time (famous last words) to try to put together something.
Post # 7
@LALaw: Why not her birthday? Is that bad ettiquette?
Post # 9
why don’t you do it the day before?
Post # 10
I say keep the date you have planned (a birthday proposal in China? Yes please!) but start saying things to throw her off. Get your friends in on it too. That’s what my FH did. Either way, though, once she starts 99 gifts, she will more than likely realize what’s afoot.
Losing the surprise is not the end of the world though! I was 90% sure when FH was proposing, despite not being sure if he had bought the ring already, and my friends and parents telling me not to get my hopes up. (They all knew.) He was acting really sketchy in the minutes before he proposed, and in the back of my mind I thought “OK, this has got to be it.” BUT when he actually got down on his knee, I was speechless and in shock (somehow). Even though she expects it and has probably been dreaming about it and imagining a hundred different scenarios of how it can happen, nothing will prepare her for the actual moment. You will overwhelm her with love and joy 🙂
Post # 11
@hollyberry4: I, too, thought about the airport.
Maybe do it the day AFTER you were planning? spread the 99 gifts (super cute idea btw!) over the 2 days? Or give her the 98th & wait until the next morning to get to the ring?
I’ve also heard stories of girls that expected it on a certain day but bc their SO’s waited until the VERY end of the day, they almost gave up on the idea thinking they were incorrect in their assumptions. Maybe if you wait till the last minute you can (while still being in a romantic place) that will help with the surprise?
Good luck! It sounds like it’s going to be amazing
Post # 12
@bebero: I think that might be an option, but I’m not sure that would win enough surprise.
She is expecting it on her birthday now and my worry is that if I propose the day before that could perhaps be a little disappointing?
What I’m ideally looking for is suggestions on little surprises that I can drop around to build up her anticipation.
Post # 13
@soontobemrsm11: That’s sort of what I’m hoping for spreading the gifts through the day so it would be the very end of the night (even possibly into the next day) that I give her the box.
btw, the reason for 99 gifts is that the number 9 in China symbolises forever.
Post # 14
@Ellyson: I’ll try to rope some of my friends in. A couple are already helping me a little.
At Christmas she flew here and stayed with some of her friends whilst I visited my family so as a surprise I secretly contacted them and gave them some Christmas gifts for her to open + a warm hat and jacket. I might try to enlist them again. 🙂
Post # 15
@JEdward: suggestions on little surprises? Can you show up early? would that ruin plans? that’d be a HUGE and I’m sure amazing surprise!
-have something at her door or ready for her when she wakes up first thing in the morning, cook her breakfast, flowers, maybe some of the presents can be hidden somewhere for her to find? (like a scavenger hunt type of thing), little love notes on random things you know she will use (hair straightener, refrigerator, etc)…that’s all I can come up with lol idk if that will help at all!
Post # 16
I was 99% sure my fiance was going to propose on a certain day (we were going away) and he knew it so he proposed the day before and caught me COMPLETELy off guard which was amazing! Then we got to celebrate on our weekend away!
no matter what happens, you two will be engaged and it will be amazing!