(Closed) She makes me want to call off the wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

What your Fiance said about how his mother’s Mother-In-Law hating her and being mean to her sounds remarkably similar to how my mother was treated by her Mother-In-Law…much the same stuff, her Mother-In-Law never liked her and was always making sarcastic comments and more or less accused my mother of ‘stealing’ her son from her…*eyeroll*

Sadly, my mother is now treating my SIL much the same way.  And for no good reason…it really saddens me.  I barely know my SIL, but I’ve got nothing against her…and really, neither has my mother.  But she badmouths her ALL the time – she literally can do no right.  Once when my mother was accusing my SIL of ‘making’ my brother do certain things, I lost my temper, and pointed out that my brother was a grown man in his 40s, and was perfectly capable of standing up for himself, and to his wife, if he needed to.  Didn’t go down well, as you can imagine.   

I think in the end it all comes down to control. Some parents (I count my Future Father-In-Law amongst them) cannot bear the idea that their adult children will make decisions that they don’t agree with.  They take it far too personally, and instead of lashing out at their own children, they turn their anger on, and blame, their partners. Their precious babies wouldn’t go against them, so it must be down to the evil daugher in law, son in law, etc.

It’s good that your Fiance is starting to realise what is going on, and supporting you.  I know it’s far easier said than done, but let him deal with his stupid mother.  Don’t let her drag you down to her level.

Post # 33
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves

@Bwed2012:  I just read all this.. I’m so sorry you’re going though this.. seriously what’s wrong with this lady?

On a happier note way to go FI! it’s remarkable he’s standing up to his mom, especially in this way cause saddly I’ve seen a bunch of similar situations when momma’s boy just wants to please mom, so I’m glad he’s on your side and hopefully the monster in law will come around 🙂

Post # 34
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

O no! Well it sounds like she’s not going to be getting better anytime soon. But great for Fiance, sounds like you really got through to him! What a keeper, but I’m sure this will be taking a toll on him as well as you. Keep your head up, and just keep getting through your interactions with Future Mother-In-Law. Hopefully in the future things will change.

ETA – I just re-read her comments to you and got so angry for you. I would have been LIVID. It woulod have been all I could do to not kick her out of my house.

Post # 35
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re way better than me, because I would have turned her & the sister and kids right around and sent them back to wherever they came from.  Your Fiance made it perfectly clear that they were not invited over for the 4th… who really does that?  I don’t count myself as someone with a particularly bad temper, but honey you have to be a saint because I know I would have lost it by now.

Post # 36
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

wow, good for you your Fiance has a backbone and would stick up for you!! you found a winner!

Post # 38
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

@Bwed2012:  Im so happy he finally said something. Hopefully it all goes well. Good luck!

Post # 39
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t let her achieve her goal.  You’re marrying your best friend and she will have to accept that.  I think everything should be easier once you have kids with him.  Grandma always loves grandkids no matter who mother is and she will gradually accept you.  I think she’s just not ready to see his son getting married and having family of his own.

Post # 40
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Bwed2012:  That is unbelievable!! What did his sister say while all of this went down??? What was her reaction over the phone while he said that to her? I am so sorry that you are dealing with this stress, but thank goodness he is supporting you and standing up for what is right. Even after offering another opportunity for them to come over to celebrate the holiday, and she still invited herself over. That’s crazy. Did his sister know that you’d asked them to come another time??

Post # 41
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Good for your Fiance standing up to her like that. She sounds horrible. Any updates since the party?

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