Post # 1
What do I do?
We have a budget of 150 guests. We are over for about 8 people, which we def weren’t expecting and not too thrilled about. I’m not sure what to do about my Girlfriend, we aren’t super close, but close enough, she is sweet but she tends to be a bit on the flakey side. She had RSVP for my bridal shower and never showed up, my Mom still had to pay for her plate from the shower, and when asked about it it was like no big deal that she didn’t show up. She got married last year, at a very posh place, so I know she knows that weddings are costly and it’s important to be on a budget, but she does such inconsiderate things. So my issue is this, she is due a week before my wedding, and she RSVP for her and her husband- yes. I spoke to her about it before I even sent invites out and she said she was most likely not going to come to the reception but she would try to make it to the church. She said if she does delivery before the wedding that she won’t want to leave the baby ( completely understandable) and even if she doesn’t deliver yet then most likely she would have to be induced the weekend of my wedding. No problem at all, I’m fine with all this, and wasn’t expecting her to attend, so when I got her RSVP for her and her husband I was a bit surprised. We have to have our final count in 3 weeks before our wedding and have our table seating and all that done. Do I say something to her and make her confirm 3 weeks before my wedding even though she sent in an RSVP. My gut is telling me they aren’t going to come and then we are going to get stuck paying for both her and her husband’s plate
Post # 3
I’d just count her out. There seems to be no chance (despite her rsvp) that she’ll be able to attend. I always wonder why people say yes when its really just a maybe.
Post # 4
We’re in a similar situation. FIs cousin’s wife is pregnant. Originally she was due on our wedding weekend – now they’re saying that she’s due a week and a half later.
We kind of thought that whole family would be a “No” because of her due date, now some have RSVPed “Yes” but I know if she goes early they won’t be there.
If she knows for sure she’ll be induced on your wedding weekend then I’m not sure why she would RSVP “Yes” – if she were just due then I could see her saying that she may be there (since first babies can arrive later than expected). We are just planning for them to be there but if I find out they’re not coming we’ll just end up with an empty table.
Post # 5
If we were under a 150, we wouldn’t care as much because we have to pay for 150 even if we don’t get a 150. Right now we are over 150, and we still have a few outstanding RSVP. At $150 a plate ( we live in NJ) paying the extra $300 if she doesn’t show is going to really piss us off and she has been a no show in the past and not thought twice about it. I think I’m going to confront her 3 weeks before the wedding and tell her that we need to have our final numbers in and see if she takes the hint.
Post # 6
Sucky situation to be in for sure, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea to assume anything. If you are so worried about it, I would have to err on the side of not being totally correct etiquitte wise and give her a call to make sure they meant to RSVP yes, just explain that you knew about her situation and want to be sure before you proceed with seating assignments. Try not to mention anything about money though.
Post # 7
I agree, I think you need to contact her again and try to be super nice about it, but just say that while you guys would love to have them at your wedding, you wanted to be 100% sure that they were going to be able to go, since her due date is so close. I am always shocked that people, especially people who have planned weddings recently, feel like they can RSVP and then not show up! I mean, I know she hasn’t done this yet, but it seems likely. How do people do that when they know that you have to pay for them ahead of time? How annoying.
Post # 8
I have one like that as well.
FI’s uncle. He had verbally told FI’s mom, yes. Then couple days later no. And now it’s a yes again. AND. He has since moved out of state. So coming to the wedding would mean a plane ticket!
So a couple days before final numbers are due, we still have a week or so, I’m going to ask his mom to call the uncle to say ‘hey did you get airfare yet?’. If he hasn’t I’m counting him out no matter what he says.
And he has not sent back RSVP either!
At $$$ pp I’m not playing around with numbers!
Post # 9
Well to make matters worse, we are dealing with this from my Fiance mom and sister, they have RSVP no, but I know they will do something to cause more drama the day of ( major family drama with them) so I really don’t want to have to worry about 2 other people possibly not showing..between his mother, his sister and his sister bf that are up int he air, having my gf and her husband not show as well would just really add to all of it. I don’t get why people do no shows either. I mean it’s beyond rude, and like I said she did it at my shower and didn’t even care that she didn’t show and we paid for her.