(Closed) She RSVP Yes- but I don’t think she is attending

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d just count her out.  There seems to be no chance (despite her rsvp) that she’ll be able to attend.  I always wonder why people say yes when its really just a maybe. 

Post # 4
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re in a similar situation. FIs cousin’s wife is pregnant. Originally she was due on our wedding weekend – now they’re saying that she’s due a week and a half later.

We kind of thought that whole family would be a “No” because of her due date, now some have RSVPed “Yes” but I know if she goes early they won’t be there.

If she knows for sure she’ll be induced on your wedding weekend then I’m not sure why she would RSVP “Yes” – if she were just due then I could see her saying that she may be there (since first babies can arrive later than expected). We are just planning for them to be there but if I find out they’re not coming we’ll just end up with an empty table.

Post # 6
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sucky situation to be in for sure, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea to assume anything.  If you are so worried about it, I would have to err on the side of not being totally correct etiquitte wise and give her a call to make sure they meant to RSVP yes, just explain that you knew about her situation and want to be sure before you proceed with seating assignments.  Try not to mention anything about money though.

Post # 7
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree, I think you need to contact her again and try to be super nice about it, but just say that while you guys would love to have them at your wedding, you wanted to be 100% sure that they were going to be able to go, since her due date is so close. I am always shocked that people, especially people who have planned weddings recently, feel like they can RSVP and then not show up! I mean, I know she hasn’t done this yet, but it seems likely. How do people do that when they know that you have to pay for them ahead of time? How annoying.

Post # 8
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have one like that as well.

FI’s uncle. He had verbally told FI’s mom, yes. Then couple days later no. And now it’s a yes again. AND. He has since moved out of state. So coming to the wedding would mean a plane ticket!

So a couple days before final numbers are due, we still have a week or so, I’m going to ask his mom to call the uncle to say ‘hey did you get airfare yet?’. If he hasn’t I’m counting him out no matter what he says.

And he has not sent back RSVP either!

At $$$ pp I’m not playing around with numbers!

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