(Closed) She says “I’ll be your bm IF I can afford a plane ticket”

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@pinkgreenandyellow:  I would talk to her, and let her know you understand her $ concerns, that either 1) you need to know definitely by X date and/or 2) you’d be willing to help her with the cost of a dress, or whatever else might be required. That she could stay with a local friend, so she wouldn’t have to pay for a hotel, that she can wear wahtever shoes she wants, that she can do her own makeup, etc. I will be in the same situation– with friends all over— and in the end, it’s most important for me for them to be there. I think showing her that you’re willing to help her out logistically and financially may make her feel more certain she can do this. Being a Bridesmaid or Best Man can be expensive even without a flight.

Post # 4
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t take away your offer. It sucks she can’t give you a more definite answer, but you can’t take away your offer without being rude and likely hurting her feelings. If it were me, I’d just have her be a bridesmaid, and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. I’m sure she’ll decide by the time it comes to order her dress. I doubt she’d want to commit to buy a dress if she didn’t know if she can come.

Post # 5
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

She has a YEAR to save up for a ticket, her dress, etc. If she saves just $50 a month, that’s $600. $75 gives her $900.

You’re not going to be ordering their dresses for probably another 6 months, so I wouldn’t worry to much about it now. If you end up with more groomsmen than bridesmaids, no big deal, a lot of people have uneven numbers. Check back with her when your order the dresses, to see if she’s been able to save.

Post # 6
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think all you have to do is ask her to have date by when she will know for sure. Hopefully before the invites go out, and around the time you need to find dresses for your girls. I think she will agree to that, and she seems to be a reasonable and thoughtful person, but a lot of people would have said yes right off the bat before really thinking about if they could make it.

Post # 7
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

To be fair you have only been engaged how long? A week?  Give her some time to think more about it and then call her again to get a more detailed answer.  Maybe she has some money issues going on that she is embarrassed to tell you about. 

Post # 9
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

perhaps there s more to it.. she may also think she needs to pay for her BMs dresses, jewellery shoes bag..all these have to be taken into account… plus accomodation..

 

Post # 10
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

And also, your wedding may not be her ONLY wedding as a BMs in the next few months.. she may be also saving for other girlfriend’s wedding too…

(sorry, just putting your scenario in a different perspective)

The topic ‘She says “I’ll be your bm IF I can afford a plane ticket”’ is closed to new replies.

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