(Closed) She thinks I’m trying to compete with her wedding….ugh

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you’re making too much of it. Let her comment roll off your back and just keep on keeping on with your wedding.

Post # 4
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you need a new hobby. Stop worrying about what your Future Sister-In-Law thinks, or whether or not she’s trying to be catty, or how ‘tacky’ she is. And tell your mutual friends you’re not interested in hearing this stuff. You seem to be consumed to the point of obsession with picking apart everything she says and does and finding reasons to criticize her. What does this constant need to find fault with her and criticize her on the internet say about you?

Post # 5
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mrssrm:  I agree with this. Sorry. 

Post # 6
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ignore it.

Post # 7
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Ignore her. Trust me. My Future Sister-In-Law thought I was competing with her until I refused to talk about my wedding. I answered all questions with “I haven’t decided that yet,” and kept quiet about any wedding stuff I had to do. When she told me she felt left out, I responded with trying to show her respect because her wedding is first, not wanting to steal thunder. Eventually she got it and calmed down. Now, because her wedding is in a couple of weeks, she is freaking out about her wedding to care about what I am doing. 

So ignore the comments and keep quiet about your planning, at least for little things. As her wedding nears, she will be more concerned with her big day and will drop the competitive mentality.

Post # 8
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know some of the bees are ragging, but I can relate. Sometimes there are just people that get under your skin, and I’m sure you have your reasons. Anyways, it was a bit of a snide comment, but I would try to ignore it as she didn’t blatantly say that she wants to compete. She gets her day, and you get yours!

Post # 10
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrssrm:  Yeah, generally with people like that I just ignore them. Getting yourself worked up about it is unnecessary and only serves to stress you out. The more you worry about her, the more it really does seem like you are competing.

Post # 12
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

So she didn’t even say this directly to you? Rule of thumb, never trust hearsay, it can be distorted to varying extents.

You really need to forget about Future Sister-In-Law. You have a wedding to plan and therefore, presumably bigger things to worry about!

Post # 15
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@violet25:  I’m sure you have plenty of good reasons for not getting along with/liking/trusting your Future Sister-In-Law, and I sympathize because it must be terrible watching a beloved sibling commit to spending a lifetime with someone about whom you have serious reservations. But I still think that it’s not healthy to dwell on minor slights like this. If she is as competitive and malicious as you believe, you’re only playing into her hands and giving her exactly what she wants by letting it get to you.

Sorry if my previous comment came across as unkind. I was blunt because I do think you need a bit of a wake-up call, but my intentions were good.

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