Post # 1
Bees I need your opinions. My friend was telling me that she bought a dress to wear for her birthday party. She is having a dinner party at a restaurant (not upscale, but I’ve never been). Anyway, after she told me about the dress she bought she asked me what I was wearing. My innocent self said ‘Probably nice jeans with a cute top’. She then told me ‘I wouldn’t wear jeans, I would wear a dress, you don’t want to feel underdressed’. It caught me totally off guard. And made me feel funny inside – kinda thinking What’s with all the rules? Plus it sounded very passive agressive.
Am I overthinking it? Be honest bees! Thanks!!
Post # 3
From face value it sounds like she was letting you know that this restaurant’s attire is a bit nicer than jeans. Nothing more to it.
Post # 4
@lefeymw: Yep. I agree. I needed to hear it from someone else. I’m overly sensitive today :s
Post # 5
Yeah I agree I think you overthought it, if she was being passive agressive about it I don’t think she would have just came right out and said it to your face. I think she just being a good friend and looking out for you!
Post # 6
If the place has a dress code she was probably just giving you a heads up. Some nightclubs for example, won’t let you in with jeans on.
Post # 7
Maybe her tone made it feel passive aggressive. But going simply by what you wrote I would say she could have just been giving you a heads up about the dress code.
Post # 8
I appreciate when a friend tells me that a dress is too dressy or jeans are too casual. I hate showing up and being inappropriately dressed, when a friend could have mentioned something to me ahead of time.
Post # 9
I would give her the benefit of the doubt that she was just trying to be helpful.
Post # 10
I agree with PP that she was trying to be helpful. I know I would appreciate a friend kindly letting me know. I hate to show up feeling underdressed, and would always try to give a friend that info to help keep them from feeling that way!
Post # 11
shes a friend, friends say stuff like this and its OK
Post # 12
Better to be overdressed than underdressed anyway!
Post # 13
I think you’re over thinking it.
Post # 14
Yeah your overthinking it she’s just giving you a heads up.
Post # 15
She was totally being direct. This is the definition of being direct. Direct is healthy.
Post # 16
You were over thinking, and its okay! It happens all the time 🙂