(Closed) She wants my wedding date….

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

No,  sounds like your aunt knew ahead of time and could have easily said “hey,  it needs to be the be the next weekend, hour cousin has already picked her date”


i personally wouldn’t worry. 

Post # 4
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think you are being a jerk at all.  You set your date before you knew hers (I am not sure if she knew your date before she set hers?) and you are not trying to convince family members to attend yours and skip hers.  The only really difficult decision would be if your grandparents (who I think would be her great grandparents?) have to choose between the two weddings.  

Post # 7
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Philadelphia, PA

I think you’ve handled it well and are encouraging your mutual family members to attend your cousin’s wedding. And I definitely agree with PP’s that your aunt could have very easily told her that the date was already taken by you. 

Post # 8
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@MissGoldFish: +1. 

View original reply
@HappyORBride:  It’s commendable that you aren’t offended if different family members opt to attend your cousin’s wedding. It’s nice to see a level-headed approach. Hopefully, this helps cut down on any potential drama. 


Post # 10
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@HappyORBride:  No, you’re not being a jerk. I think she was being a bit of a jerk to even ask. If she’s upset about having the same date, she should change.

Post # 11
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013



When I clicked this thread, I was like Oh no not a again, another bee who feels the world revolves around her and entitled to a certain date for her wedding! Then I clicked and read this and NO you are not over reacting and handled this so well and sweetly! so BRAVO to you and being mature and awesome about this. Sorry too many bees feel otherwise!

Post # 12
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

No you’re not being a jerk.  You selected your date first, and she could just as easily opt to change her date as well.  I think that would be the fair thing to do, so family members don’t have to make the tough choice, but either way, you were nice enough to give her the heads up, and if she’s unwilling to change, than why would you be willing to?

On a side note, it may have been a typo, but the line where you wrote “I’m not gonna get butthurt if fam. flys out …” has me laughing and I can’t stop:)  thanks for that.

Post # 13
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@HappyORBride:  It sounds to me like YOU picked the date first- then SHE came along and picked the same one (for her own reasons or whatever….who knows)- but NO you are NOT a jerk for not being more flexible.

We had picked a specific date (which we are NOT getting married on) for our own reasons- turns out my sister and her hubby of 2 years has *tentatively* planned a 2 year later honeymoon- they would be arriving home the day of our wedding.

We had a lot of reasons for our date- some personal, some because there are babies being born – you can’t change that date!- partially for grandparents.

And then my sister and her husband (who ALWAYS make the world revolve around them)- who hadn’t even booked this trip—make me change our date.  FI’s mom was like “stick to your guns”.  My mom said the same thing.  My closest friends- told me to stick to our date- my sister could have come home TWELVE hours early from her not-yet-booked-trip so we could get married on the day we wanted to.  I would have paid if the tickets cost more to book that day- I offered.  But she HAD to have her extra 12 hours of vaca- which in turn led me feeling forced to change the date.  

I don’t want to sound selfish, but our wedding day- well I feel we should be able to get married the day that WE choose- but I felt like we were changing dates to make everyone happy but us.    I think it’s great your’re sricking to your date!!  

Post # 14
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@MrsEME:  Must be your bad karma.

Post # 15
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@HappyORBride:  I dont think so you told your date when you were told they didnt set one … now to me it sounds like it was your date 1st maybe she should think of moving hers 


she should be speaking with you i hope its just she has not had a chance to get back to yet … i am very sorry for it all happening that way itsa shame the other events are on the same day but hopeully both are amazin 

Post # 16
7368 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Are you kidding? This one of the few reasonable threads that I’ve ever read on here about wedding date conflicts. You did nothing wrong.

Your cousin was completely out of line for daring to ask.

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