(Closed) She wants to invite whom?! (or, more woes of the +1) …just a vent

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

hmm im not sure…if you just put your friend’s name “and guest” i don’t think you can really choose who she brings.  i could be wrong though.

Post # 4
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah I would be annoyed too! I know since you said “and guest” there isn’t much you can do (and you’ve admitted as much!), but I would still find it annoying.

Post # 5
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Um you gave her an “and guest.”  You don’t get to dictate who she brings unless you specifically invited a specific person as her guest – which you didn’t…

Post # 6
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You gave her a +1. You’re not allowed to dictate who she brings, sorry.

Post # 7
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

“I wasn’t going to make it the hill I was going to die on” LOLOLOLOL!!! I love that!!

I can totally see where you’re coming from– you want your friend to have a good time at your wedding, and not have to babysit. I totally get it.

But I guess I agree with your FH. If she wants to bring her mom to avoid more drama, let her. She’s the one that’s going to have to deal with her at your wedding, not you.

Post # 9
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

ugh, I can see where you’re coming from and understand it.  Unfortunately, you don’t have much choice. 

however, I also  understand your friend’s dilema.  since it’s your friend’s mother, said mother will end up giving your friend a rough time about it.  and I can DEFINITELY understand not wanting to have to deal with a mom who is going to give you nothing but pain for something like that.  (my mom would be the SAME way…)

If your friend doesn’t have a date she wants to bring, well, just tell your friend that if the mom starts acting the part of a drama queen (aka creating a scene), she’ll be asked to leave.  (which I think would be the norm regardless, but that’s just me). 

so, so sorry you have to deal with this.  hopefully everything will work out okay. 🙂

eta: oh, and I also fight with my mother on a near-constant basis.  have been since I was a teen.  sometimes, it’s just easier to do what’s necessary to keep the peace…

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