Post # 1
Hi bees! So the other day when my dad was in town, he mentioned that he wanted to help out a little bit with the wedding. Not much, but he’d try to get some $$. (My dad isn’t very good w/ money in the first place) So I told him to not worry about it since we already have everything saved for the wedding. He insisted. So I went back to my fiance, and we’ve devised a tricky little plan to make him think he’s helping us!
(A little backstory: My dad has only ever owned like 3 cars. And they ALWAYS break down. He puts so much $ into them, that it’d be more useful to get a new car, but we guess he doesn’t see that!)
We’re going to accept whatever money he gives us and store it away, add to it a little here and there, (most likely put it into an interest-yielding acct.) and then after it gathers a few thousand, give it back to him to buy a new car!
Gahhh, I’m just so excited to help him out for once and give back to him like he’s always giving to me!
Post # 3
can i say you are probably the sweetest daughter ever! what an amazing idea. i think he will love it
Post # 4
Very sweet of you….thoughtful. Also, do consider that he may really want to contribute (however small it is) to yourwedding day. You could take what little money he gives you and do something special with it and then you can tell him: “Dad we were able to do (this) with your money” It might make him feel important to know that you spent his money on something speical like your flowers or slideshow or something. Just another thought….your idea is wonderful though.
Post # 5
- Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna
You rock! That has to be the best idea I have ever heard of.
Post # 6
I think that is a really sweet idea. I would act like you used the money toward the wedding though, and give him the car as a gift later. I wouldn’t tell him that you used his wedding money for the car. I don’t know your dad, but if he knows what you did he might be insulted or have hurt feelings.
Post # 7
Thank you for all the sweet responses!! We are planning on telling him that he bought the flowers for the ceremony =)
My dad is a pretty easy going guy, and I think he wants to feel like he contributed, but I don’t think he’d mind in a few years when he gets a rocking new ride =)
Post # 8
It does sound sweet, but it wouldn’t work in my family.
My dad would be hurt, and maybe slightly offended. I think my mom would be too. He’s very traditional and likes to take care of us. My mom struggles and her offering is a big deal. I think she’d be embarrassed if I gave it back to her. Maybe you can split it: put a portion toward something and set aside the other portion?
Post # 9
That is such a sweet thing you are doing..I’m sure he’d be so surprised. 🙂 It was also nice that he offered. <3
Post # 10
I don’t want to sound rude- since I don’t know your family, but I think I would find that really patronizing. I totally get where you are coming from, my husband and I paid for our whole wedding ourselves. My mom felt really bad that she couldn’t help us or pay for it, even though I would have felt bad if she had. She really wanted to do something for me, so she bought my dress. I know she would be heartbroken if I came back after the wedding and told her I didn’t really spend the money she gave me on the dress, even though she could use it.
I would maybe separate the two even though money is money- spend what your dad gives you on the wedding and start a saving fund of your own to surprise him with a car.
I think you are doing a really sweet thing, you are obviously generous and were raised to not feel entitled, I would just hate for someone to feel hurt!
Post # 11
That is an awesome daughter!!!! =]
Post # 12
FWIW-I agree with Vistagirl 🙂
Post # 13
That is SO sweet! Good for you! 🙂
Post # 14
@retsud: I’m kind of with you on this. While its a sweet gesture, my dad would probably almost feel like a failure if I did this. My parents aren’t overly proud people but they would definitely be weirded out if I were to save the money that they are giving us for our wedding and turn around and buy them a car. Its more something a parent would do for their child, not the other way around. Though, this is just my opinion and every family is different.
Post # 15
My parents would actually be insulted by this and maybe even mad. I hope you have thought this through. Everyone’s family is different, so I hope this works for yours. If so, then it is a nice idea. But just be careful and think it through completely. If your dad wants to help with the wedding, allow him to help with the wedding. My dad would be upset if I was dishonest about where his money went. Buying him a car is a great gift idea, but in my opinion it should have nothing to do with wedding money, no matter where it comes from.
Post # 16
Oh you are awesome!! My parents aren’t hung up on gender or parental roles either and would love that! What a sweet daughter you are – actually brought tears to my eyes 🙂