(Closed) Shock will make you do unnatural things. (Spinoff)

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Completely agree. I have never been in any sort of situation that even vaguely resembles what happened in Colorado. I would hope that I would have made different choices, but again, I was not there. I feel incredibly uncomfortable chastising someone for his actions in such a stressful, horrific, life-or-death situation.

Post # 4
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Mrs Hedgehog:  Yup. People can (and have) done things they wouldn’t do under normal circumstances. I’m sure the guy feels horrible now, but it really is a biological response. Hopefully I’m never in a situation like that.

Post # 5
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When I was in a car accident at 19, I was preoccupied with collecting the contents of my purse and didn’t notice that my arm was broken and then I called my mom and told her that I was going to dairy queen and didn’t mention the accident.

BUT – as a parent, I cannot fathom leaving my child on the floor in the midst of gunfire. Fuck that.

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Sorry, have to disagree. Parenting instincts are biological. I feel like there is something broken in this man that his instince was not to protect his children. If it was just his fiance, I’d still think he was an ass but maybe buy the shock argument. But he had the kid IN HIS ARMS and put him down so that he could run away. If I was his fiance I’d leave him and file for full custody of the kids, I would not trust his parenting anymore because when push comes to shove he looks out for himself and completely abandons his children.

Post # 7
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

If I were that mom, I would look at him in a different light.. He put the kid down in the midst of gunfire and took off… He could have kept the baby and ran. (the gunman could have easily killed the baby… found him because he was crying his head off, probably pissing the gunman off even more…)

Post # 8
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I dont know what the original post was about but I can relate with being and shock and not doing “the right thing”

My kids and I were caught in the middle of a gang drive by, to this day I dont remember if I even grabbed my kids to bring them closer to me but I know I do wish I would have thrown them in my car sincewe  were all near it and the door was open. My oldest son was shot in the leg and while everyone was calling police, trying to see where he was hurt, tryingn to take the other kids in the house I just stood there and even recall smilling at people as ifthey were saying “HI” to me. smh it hurts me to think I should have been doing more but cant change it now. Just thanking God it wasnt worse and praying it never happens again

Post # 9
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree. I think in those situations hardly anyone is capable of acting rationally. I’m sure if the guy could rewind and do it all over he would stay with the baby and try to protect it. But his instincts took over and he fled.

I think people are getting so upset because they feel that, once you’re a parent, your instincts should be instantly transformed so that you’re programmed to protect your children at all costs–and I think that a lot of women especially do experience this. But sometimes it takes a bit longer for those parental instincts to kick in for dads–they didn’t carry the child for all of those months, they don’t have the same surge of hormones, in most cases they’re probably at work all day while the mom is with the baby nearly 24/7. It doesn’t mean the dad doesn’t love the child or wouldn’t lay down his life for it if he had time to process the situation rationally. I would bet if the baby were 18 months and they’d had more time to bond, his instincts would probably be different.

I also wonder if his driving off like that was almost a flee-from-the-scene-of-the-crime response. I feel like realizing that you’d just left your family behind like that might be so awful and overwhelming that your immediate response would be to just keep running.

I feel bad for him. Chances are, he’s a perfectly decent human being and this will haunt him for years. The guilt has to be overwhelming.

 

Post # 11
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have a 9 month old. I would hope and pray that if we were ever in that situation I would protect my children to the bitte end, but honestly I can’t say either way because as you said, I’m in the safety of my home. However, and I may be the only one. Yes, what happened was tragic and I pray for the friends and families of loved ones lost and injured, but…. Who would take a 4 month old and a 4 year old to a midnight movie of Batman? The violence, language and sexual content alone would make me have a babysitter and go with just my SO. It’s midnight for cripe’s sake!? That just kind of bothered me, but eh, I could be the only one.

Post # 12
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Agreed. That’s why I didn’t even click on the original thread, LOL!

Post # 13
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

FutureMrsPuckett I agree! those werent the only kids there either and as i read the stories I wondered the same thing, who takes infants and toddlers to a midnight screening of anything

//

Post # 14
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I also don’t think this is anyway a reflection of how decent a person he is.  Certainly, when thinking about the reasons that I love my Fiance and am looking forward to marrying him, “acting in ____ way during a life-or-death situation” doesn’t come into play.  Just because your a parent does not mean that you will act in such a noble and sacrificial way as taking a bullet for your child when placed in such a situation. I do think people are being far too harsh on this guy while sitting in the saftey of their living rooms while he and his family struggle to overcome such a horrible situation. 

Post # 15
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve read both threads on this issue and I can totally see both sides. Obviously no one can know with certainity what they would do in that situation.  But you would still like to think that something biological would kick in.  

Post # 16
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

When my brother was 4. He and my dad stumbled a cross a nest of copperheads. Dad is Terrified of snakes.  He turned around and started running and got 10 steps before he realized that he forgot my brother. 

This is a man who has gotten inbetween us and a guy with a gun, and chased a bear out of our yard with a rake.

Does panic make you react different ? Yes. 

If I was the guys girlfriend, would I still look at him differently . Yes. I wouldn’t be able to help it .

 

 

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