Post # 16
Carolsays: conversely, I have a grandfather who has been a gigantic asshole his entire life – I mean, tripping babies while they’re learning to walk, choking my aunt’s dog on christmas day for literally no reason other than he doesn’t like dogs, locking a toddler outside of a cottage because he took too long closing the door and “let bugs in” HORRIBLE asshole – and people just tell me I should suck up to him so he’ll leave me money.
I’m civil, out of respect for the fact that he paid the bills when my dad was growing up, but I will NEVER suck up to a horrible man just to get money out of him.
Some people just want money, and don’t care how it gets in their pocket.
Post # 17
I’ve had comments from people (those I’m not super close to, more acquaintances) about the money I might interit from my Grandma when she passes (she is very well off). I was practically raised by my Grandma and am very close to her, and the thought of her passing away fills me with dread. What I might inherit is of no concern to me and I have never implied it is to anyone else.
Those who make the comments are making a crass joke. I usually just laugh it off, the main thing is I know that interitance isn’t a concern of mine and my relationship with my Grandma is by no means based on it.
Post # 18
Some people are shallow and money is all they think about, so by default they say the most crass and inhumane things when it comes to elderly relatives and inheritances. It is more of a reflection of their terrible personalities, and has nothing to do with you. Frankly, if a person like that started talking to me I would quickly write them off as anybody I would want to associate with outside of work/casual acquaintance.
As for wanting to be able to be informed about your aunt if anything happens to her, does she live in a nursing home or on her own? Does she have day care? You could ask her if she would like her caretakers to have your contact info in the event of an emergency, or tell her you’re a contact if she needs help with anything.
Post # 19
Your post actually gives a little hope. My husband and I are CBC and I have several nephews and a niece. A few months ago my oldest sister passed away. She has two children, ages 11 and 13. I alternated with my brother in law in the few weeks my sister was sick before her death either staying with her at the hospital or staying with the kids so he could be with my sister. It was tough and I grew close to the kids but I am several hours from them and have a busy career so it’s hard to see them more than once every couple of months. Your post gives me hope that I can continue to have a relationship with them and help them remember my sister even into adulthood.
Post # 20
KhaleesiStormborn: Dh and I have had people say to suck up to his grandparents because they are rich. But they are also evil and I would rather be penniless for ever then be anything other then civil with those people. I do not understand the mentality to be nice to evil people because they are rich!
Post # 21
That is very sad. People are ignorant. But it is wonderful that you have a relationship with her, and your motives are pure.
Post # 22
God I wish I had an old aunt i could inherit from. My whole family is broke and the only person who is doing fairly well (my aunt) has a beloved daughter and now a grandaughter. Im not inheriting anything from anyone ever. *sigh*
Post # 23
namarie: I am very sorry to hear about your sister. Yes, I think you can be close to her children, even if there is some distance.
My mom died when I was 14. As a kid, I thought of her only in the role of my mom. As I got older, I realized she was a person with a life before I existed, and I became very curious about it.
I think your sister’s children will want to hear stories about their mom.