(Closed) Shopping Spree Guilt [Venting]

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

newlywednewbie:  I know the exact feeling that you’re describing right now and it sucks. The thing I often find is that there’s always something else going on that makes me react that way. If you read through your post and your arguments for why you did buy things vs why you could’ve waited a little longer, I think you’ll find that you made very good points and your emotions aren’t quite matching up with the logic here. If you had a friend in this situation telling you this, would you expect her to be feeling this bad?

How are you feeling in general at the moment? It sounds like you’ve had a big year with moving countries and what not – how is that going? Are you working? Have you made new friends and built a support network? Are you feeling anxious or unsettled about anything? I always find that if something else is bothering me, I tend to have much stronger reactions to things that aren’t that important in the scheme of things (like guilt about spending). 

Cut yourself some slack – you haven’t done anything wrong and it sounds like your husband is on the same page as you, so you should enjoy your new purchases. If you are feeling a little down in general, make sure you are taking good care of yourself. 

Post # 3
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

Ah, buyer’s remorse… That well known companion to the shopping spree high! 

My advice- ignore, ignore, ignore!

You bought your husband what he wanted from the gifted money, you bought yourself things you needed and things that would last. Nothing wrong with buying perfume. 

You have no reason to feel guilty for spending gifted money.

Nina Ricci perfume is awesome

Post # 4
Member
4548 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Seems to me for the most part you got stuff you NEEDED. You did not go into debt to get it, and you shopped with the awareness of your partner who encouraged you to get some new stuff.

So, stop feeling guilty and enjoy your new things ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2003

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your parents probably gave you that money because they know you won’t spend money on your self otherwise. I felt bad about asking for a ring when it finally seemed like I would get it. I felt bad for having someone spend that much money on me. It is insecurity really. Plus my husband and I don’t have children. We are in the process of adoption, so I keep reminding myself that we never be able to spoil each other like this again. Enjoy this time of being doted on. Next year you could have kids, or different circumstances and wish that you’d savored this moment. It is a blessing to be able to walk in a store and buy what you want! congrats to you and happy holidays!

Post # 6
Member
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Oh bee don’t work yourself up. We all feel like this sometimes. It sounds like you rarely treat yourself and needed all the items! It is false economy buying cheaper clothes and shoes that don’t last as long and go out of fashion. If it’s not going to after you financially, dont worry. Go and arrange a date with hubby and test out your new things!

Post # 7
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

newlywednewbie:  Well, where did your budget come from? For me, going over budget would really stress me out and I’d have to return the items. But that’s because, when I’ve had budgets, they are based on real limits and real consequences. It sounds like maybe your budget was arbitrary? 

It sounds like all the things you bought are lovely and won’t affect your household finances, so enjoy them! Merry Christmas to you, hehe! Also sounds like all the items are kind of a gift for your husband, too, because he’ll get to enjoy you smelling & looking great. I would be careful though about so much justification for your purchases…it’s better to simply know that you have X amount of dollars to spend, not choose to spend a certain amount because you “need” various items. That’ll help with the guilt.

Of all the things you listed (loved hearing about them), I would reconsider the waxing kit. Just because you probably won’t use it. Have you looked at epilators? I think they’re much better than waxing, especially if you hate hair maintenance. Waxing is a big production and you have to wait for your hair to grow a certain length, so you’ll be hairy in between waxes. Whereas epilating is super easy and quick and maintains that freshly-waxed feeling all the time. Plus, you’re forced to keep it up because if you go too long between sessions it’ll hurt! Lol. I epilate once every 5-8 days and it’s MUCH less of a time investment than waxing or shaving. So if I were you I’d return that waxing kit and buy an epilator instead. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
4249 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I know this feeling well.  I went shopping with a friend a few weeks ago and ended up buying more than I thought I would, but it all was staples for my closet and shoes that I needed. Total I probably spent $150.  Then of course with holiday shopping we just kind of blew our budget out of the water so I felt extra guilty.  I admitted to my husband how guilty I felt for buying those things that I didn’t *technically* need, but are now already staples in my closet, and he said not to worry about it and we would just get better at sticking to our budget next time.

I think the things you bought were things you needed so I wouldn’t feel guilty, as long as you are open with your husband about what you bought and why you are feeling the way you’re feeling.

Post # 9
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I always feel guilty about shopping.  No matter how much I need something, I cannot bring myself to spend the money on it.  However, my daughters closet is usually over flowing, and she has more shoes than she needs.  

If my husband needs a new pair of shoes or pant (or anything) he just buys it.  He needed it so why not?  I could never do that without the guilt.  

Post # 10
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee

You deserve nice clothes, new underwear and smooth legs. PROMISE!

Post # 11
Member
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

newlywednewbie:  Be kinder to yourself!  You bought things you needed – it may have been a lot at once but if you hadn’t moved you probably would have spread out the purchases more.  No worries!  

Post # 12
Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Dude,  the other day i purchased a rose  gold bracelet with garnets for over $500. I didn’t “need it”, but i have no guilt whatsoever. I work like a dog,  so i treat myself to jewelry and clothes on a regular basis. … give yourself a break please. 

Post # 14
Member
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

newlywednewbie:  Woman, you need a good shake! You were supposed to spend that money on yourself! Bettering your appearance (and frankly just having something, anything to wear) costs money! You have nothing to feel guilty about. Please enjoy your purchases, as your parents intended!

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